Team of Two
by Machine of war
Summary: The fight with Tobi takes longer than anticipated and as a result Naruto receives all of the Kyuubi's Chakra and meets him at the age of 5 they become friends and Naruto removes the seal on the cage, as a way to help Naruto get stronger he awakens Naruto's dormant DNA giving him the sharingan, smart Naruto, Mokuton, eventually Rinnegan, Godlike, Cool Naruto. NarutoXAnko
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N)** **This is my** **first story so it may seem a little disjointed, please bear with it for the beginning as it will get better (Hopefully)**

**In short the story is about what I think would happen if the fourth took longer to deal with Madara (Obito) and therefore didn't have enough chakra left over to split Kyuubis' chakra in half resulting in Naruto having all of it sealed in him.**

**Note: While this does start off quite seriously, there will be comedy after I finished setting the scene. Honestly, I wasn't planning to put in enough jokes that I would need to reclassify the genre. Anyway, while there will be serious parts in the beginning and throughout the story, I can't seem to stop putting in jokes.**

**Also, I'm going to ignore the rule about no lemons simply because I feel that it is retarded- there won't be that many but they will pop up occasionally.**

'Regular thoughts'

"Regular Speech"

**'Demonic Thoughts'**

**"Demonic speech"**

**Jutsu/ Technique**

**Scene change/ Time skip**

**October 10th around midnight -Forests outside of Konoha**

**(A/N: The story is cannon up until the point of the fight Obito interrupted the resealing after Naruto was born Minato used the flying thunder god to take Naruto away from him only to return seeing the Kyuubi unsealed and traveling towards Konoha. Now, on to the story)**

It was clear to both fighters whoever was the fastest would win. The fourth flashed to his **Hiraishin **marker behind Obitos' head and attempted to slam the **Rasengan **into his back however, having seen the technique hundreds of times before recognized the marker and what the fourth had planned before the kunai even left his hand so had decided to keep his **Kamui **active. As the fourth passed through his back yet again attempted to reach out and grab him just as Minato flashed away to yet another marker.

'Crap... now he'll be expecting another attack like that, I'm gonna have to think up a new plan... Dammit think a move this strong has to have more than just one weakness... That's it! There must be a time limit to how long he can keep the technique active if I keep up the pressure then I should be able to catch him when that limit is reached after all he just forced a Bijuu to be released and forced it to do his will he must at least be at half strength.'

Finally armed with a way to beat his masked adversary he peppered the area with about half of his special kunai "**Hiraishin: Sequential steps" **he yelled as he flashed between markers at speeds too fast to follow with human eyes even his opponents **sharingan **couldn't hope to predict his opponents movements, as far as he was concerned he was standing in the middle of a haze of yellow and a continuous stream of Kunai passing through him only to be caught and returned back at him by the yellow blur in a seemingly never ending loop, it became a battle of endurance, each trying to outlast the other and after a full 5 minutes of constant pressure the man was finally forced to become tangible again and in that moment he was hit with one of the fourths special tri-pronged kunai in the shoulder and before he could recover Minato was behind him and..."**Giant Rasengan!**" He yelled, slamming the basketball sized mass of spinning chakra into the back of the mans' head, knocking him unconscious. With no time to finish the man off he rushed in to the village to save what little people he could.

**(A/N: is again more or less canon here forth appears on top of the Hokage monument, uses Hiraishin: Guiding thunder to save it from a Bijudama Further draining his reserves before disappearing along with the Kyuubi in a yellow flash of light. only to reappear in an unknown part of the forest the ensuing fight also goes much the same as the fight in cannon up until Kushina and Minato are impaled on one of the Kyuubis claws)**

* * *

**Unknown part of the Forest**

(Kyuubi roaring and trying to fight against the restraints in the back ground)

"Minato hurry, you have to seal the Kyuubi or else the entire village is done for" Kushina Managed to choke out.

"It looks like there's no other option I'm sorry about this son but sealing the Kyuubi in you is the only way (cough)... I can only hope that one day You can control the Kyuubi's full strength and not become corrupted by the power that I'm sure you will one day hold (cough, cough)... Kushina if you have anything you want to say to Naruto, I don't think we'll get another chance"

"Naruto. I want you to grow in to a nice young man and a strong shinobi. Remember to bathe every day and go to bed early, you need your sleep. Also I want you to make friends, you don't need that many just so long as they are true friends. Also be wary of the three shinobi vices, drinking, gambling and women. (Cough) So be wary of Jiraiya since he's hooked on all three and will probably try to corrupt you. OK Minato I think that covers everything we both needed to say (cough) though I doubt he will remember it"

"Don't worry too much I'm sure the village will treat him as the hero that he is for his sacrifice (coughs up a large amount of blood) and ill work our life force into the seal to strengthen it and allow us time to talk to him and help him control the Kyuubi... When he's ready. So until then. **Reaper Death Seal!"**

As the Shinigami reaches a hand through the fourths chest to take his soul a tiny voice whispers, just barely audible over the sounds of the Kyuubi "Goodbye, Minato. Goodbye, Naruto." It was Kushina. Only moments before she too passed away.

* * *

**5 year later, streets of Konoha**

If one was looking down from above they would simply see a bustling city street with all the sights, sounds, and smells that accompany it with nothing out of the ordinary. Well except for one thing...

CRASH

To many onlookers it would simply seem as if a yellow blur had hit a set of garbage cans being stored in an alley. However.

"Get the demon!"

"KILL HIM!"

"Let's make him PAY!"

That yellow blur quickly picked himself up and sprinted further down the alley. Hoping that his unnatural stamina reserves would allow him to outlast his pursuers or at least have them too tired to beat him, _too much._

'Why me!?' he thought for what must have been the 10,000th time.

'Why can't they see that I'm not the fox?!' He yelled internally. And just like every year, this attack was promising to be one of the worst.

As he plunged down into another alley he soon realized that he was trapped, all thoughts of slipping around the crowd gone as he spotted several genin a few chunin and even a jonin which was rare most of the time higher level ninja simply stayed out of it as he saw that most on the mob had some kind of makeshift weaponry (broken bottles, kunai, kitchen knives etc.) Naruto couldn't help but think back on how his life had gotten to this point.

* * *

**Flash back 1 year after the Kyuubi attack**

Naruto found himself standing beside the Third who was talking about Naruto staying at the Orphanage from this point on. While disappointed he would no longer be staying with the kind lady, who was hand-picked by the Hokage to be his wet-nurse but at the same time glad that he would soon be able to play with children his own age.

That happiness faded quickly.

He soon found that the children were openly told to avoid him and exclude him from their games. But that was only the beginning.

He was only given the scraps to eat which were left over by the other children. He was given a worn out old mattress with several broken springs sticking out through the _thin _padding. He was denied an education, any time he was caught listening in on the other children's lessons, he was beaten. Severely. Then immediately afterwards, sent to his room (AKA: the flooded, rat infested basement so that he wouldn't 'get in the way') and not even giving him the few scraps that he normally got for that night.

This continued for the better part of three years, even surviving several assassination attempts such as; stabbed through the heart, having his throat slashed out, bludgeoned until they couldn't even tell what he originally looked like due to all the blood and gore, neck broken, disembowelled and as if that wasn't enough strangled with the intestines and many more. This led to the first great lesson in Naruto's life: how to endure pain.

These attempts happened at least once a month and each time he healed depending on the severity within between 5 minutes (If it was simply a stab or slash wound) and 6 hours (if he needed to regrow limbs or any internal organs).

Finally after the 127th attempt he finally gathered up the courage to just leave after all, it wasn't like anyone would miss him. The next five months of his life were spent living on the street, where he soon realized that the people at the orphanage's attitude towards him perfectly personified the average citizen as well as a few of the shinobi and a large number would attack him as soon as they saw him and realized who he was this led to the second great lesson in Naruto's life: how to not be seen in the first place.

Soon after his second week of living on the streets after realizing that simply searching through the trash would not be enough to keep him healthy. In fact it was barely enough to keep him alive so he soon took to disguising himself, slipping into a crow and stealing what food he could from the market stalls.

Finally when he had finally adjusted to his way of living and managed to avoid most of the people who tried to attack him, meaning he now usually avoided the beatings for days at a time he finally set his sights on something to occupy his quickly growing spare time and since he enjoyed reading the few books he could get his hands on at the priso...orphanage without getting caught the natural progression of this was to try and disguise himself before trying to sneak in to the library than anticipated, it seemed as if the receptionist could not care less who came in as long as they didn't try to enter the shinobi section(which is off limits to civilians, even though it doesn't have any techniques above genin level). So he was free to read as much as he wanted.

One of the many topics he found himself reading about in great detail were the Bijuu, during this research he soon discovered a reference to the Jinchuriki and finally he found that the Kyuubi was in fact a Bijuu. Naruto may have been young but even he could figure out what he was based on the combination of the way he was treated by everyone in this village, his fast healing, hearing a large number of the people who attacked him calling him the 'Demon brat' and guessing that so many people in the village must not be able to figure out the difference between 'is' and 'contains' he soon reached the conclusion that he was a Jinchuriki. Soon afterwards, once researching the Kyuubi's history he came to the conclusion that, shortly after the first Hokage's battle with Madara Uchiha, while the book didn't go into too much detail, the first's wife must have sealed the Kyuubi into herself and from there to down the line to himself. He then reached the conclusion that the attack on the day of his birth was justified after all, he too knew what it was like to be in a cage, except in his case that cage was all of Konoha.

The very last thing he discovered at the library was... The origins of the Uzumaki clan...the name of the last living Uzumaki in Konoha before him...and the fact that Jinchuriki are normally related to the current Kage in some way.

* * *

After a full five months of living on the street he was finally spotted and instantly recognized by one of the Third's personal ANBU, a man with strange gravity defying silver hair...

Upon hearing of the young blonds story (which left out all things he learned at the library) the Third was...well there isn't really a word for it. He immediately dispatched his ANBU to round up all caretakers at the orphanage for little _'Vacation'_ to the T&amp;I Department as for what happened to the ones involved in Naruto's Treatment...Let's just skip past that. I enjoy my lunch in my stomach thank you very much.** (A/N: While he did get regular status updates from the orphanage, he almost never had time to visit. So he simply trusted the caretakers to actually look after him properly. Which they obviously didn't.)**

The third then set up a 24 hour watch for Naruto as well as a small apartment and a monthly stipend to help him buy food, water, clothes etc. As Naruto was leaving the Hokage's office the third could have sworn that he saw a small smile on the boys when he looked up and stared at the picture of the fourth.

While Naruto no longer needed to conceal his identity just so that he wasn't attacked in the street. He soon found that to get a fair deal or even any deal at all from any place other than a certain ramen stand he still needed to use his Disguise's and even improve on them further by changing his hair colour each time, covering his whisker marks. Although as soon as his 5th came around he realized that a frenzied mob can see through any disguise and even somehow manage to distract the ANBU long enough to begin chasing him which brings us back to the present.

* * *

**Flash back/ Summary of Naruto's life so far, END**

As soon as he realized that there was no way out he simply stood there waiting for what would no doubt follow. No crying out. No pleading for mercy. No reaction whatsoever. If he failed to do any of these things then he would only egg them on. 'No. I will NOT give these sadists the satisfaction' as he continued chanting his mantra over and over again inside his head they slowly closed in.

Shattered left arm,12 broken ribs, punctured lung, eye gouged out, right ear cut off, right leg sawed off at the knee, skin flayed from the elbow down, deep cuts all over his body, skull almost completely crushed and to top it all off burns from an C-rank fire technique all over his body.

That was the sight that greeted the ANBU when they arrived needless to say the people that did this were currently...for lack of a better word..._Paste... _and the ANBU themselves were currently traveling at speeds that could make a Raikage jealous towards the hospital with one of them carrying the unconscious Naruto.

**Mindscape**

DRIP DRIP DRIP

'What the...hhhhhh they must have thrown me in the sewers, dammit. It always takes me forever to find my way out when they do this...let's see if following where the water is coming from will work like last time.'

As Naruto soon found out, the place the water was flowing from was in fact the Kyuubi's cage.

**"So my Jailer finally decides to grace with his presence. To what do I owe the pleasure, brat"**

Needless to say the Kyuubi was shocked when Naruto walked through the bars like they weren't even there.

"you don't owe me anything Kyuubi-san but I do ask that you tell me your name, if you have one and that when I set you free that you run away from the village as soon as possible so that way you won't wind up being sealed away again."

For the next minute the Kyuubi could do nothing but stare, Jaw hanging open **'This brat, he must be taunting me...No he looks far too honest for that, and even if he is mocking me on things for sure he's the only container to_ EVER_ ask me my name, let alone on his first visit to his mindscape and even then ignoring all of that. His eyes. They hold no fear I've only seen one other person with eyes like that. He's...He's... He's just like father.'**

After that full minute of silence the Bijuu simply responded with **"Kurama...My name's Kurama, kit. But why do you want to know anyway? Most people are only interested in harnessing a Bijuu's power."**

Naruto simply smiled back "It's nice to meet you Kurama-san, as for the whole power thing did you miss the bit about me letting you out of the seal?"

**"Wait... were you really serious about that? Why would you want to free me? And don't you know that you die if I'm unsealed?"**

"well as to the serious part, yes I am serious and the last two questions are really the same thing, we're both prisoners after all, and if one of us is ever going to escape it's most likely going to be you and if that means that I have to die then that's fine too since then we'll both be free."

Kurama again found himself staring blankly yet again **'Unbelievable, this kid is just like the old man, he might even be the one that father was talking about after he created us. I should at least try test this theory... right if he does open the seal to let me out ill not try to leave and if he survives the potency of my hatred then I'll stay with him after all Even the Uzumaki don't live that long compared to how long I've already lived and if I kill off one of the few containers that wants to help the Bijuu then it'll just prove all the others right for treating us like scum'**

**"Kit you are EASILY the most awesome container EVER. in fact I've got an idea if you open the seal and I don't try to leave then all you have to do is withstand the hatred that is a part of my being then you will be able to survive as well. Also I can sure as hell bet that there won't be any more attacks if they know I'll help you kill them. Well at least no more SUCCESSFUL attacks and then sooner or later the point will get across"** Kurama chuckled already deciding what to do to the first people to try and harm Naruto

Naruto was staring speechless at the giant fox standing before him. He'd never expected that he could be free AND survive "OK then Kurama-san are you ready?" he responded as he walked over to the sealing tag

**"Hmph. Enough with the -san already kit we're friends now aren't we? And besides you're the one who's got a tough fight ahead to try and withstand all that hatred. Oh and one more thing before you remove the seal. Technically it wasn't me attacking your village that night, you see kit of the few things that CAN control a Bijuu a Mangekyo Sharingan is one of them, it's a more developed form of the regular sharingan and the only one I've ever seen that had that level of control over me was none other than Madara Uchiha. Anyway that bastard with the sharingan is the real reason why your mothers seal broke and why both your parents died that night"**

Naruto was completely speechless as he had never suspected that Kurama was being controlled he always assumed that Kurama simply broke free of the seal in the middle of the village and was trying to escape when the same type of idiots who thought of him as the Kyuubi tried to kill him and he wound up killing most of them while trying to escape.

This new revelation changed Everything now he had a single person to focus all his hatred on, but one thing was for sure he wasn't strong enough, yet to fight this person he needed to bide his time and get stronger. Or else this person could ruin even more people's lives.

"Well no sense in trying to hold this off any longer. Let's do this thing!" and with that he ripped off the seal and immediately the gates exploded outwards flooding the hall with red chakra a split second later Naruto collapsed to the ground in pain

"AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHh" he screamed as ever fibre of his being felt like it wanted to destroy. _Everything_. And being unable to do that, every part of his body went to war with the rest of him, practically making him wish to simply go back to the pain that landed him in the mindscape in the first place.

Then just as soon as it came it seemed to pass. He remained on the floor for a few more moments just in case it was one of those 'calm before the storm' moments. After a few more seconds of no pain he looked up and saw that he was no longer in the sewer he was laying on what appeared to be...grass. Looking around he soon realized the grass seemed to stretch on forever.

Hearing a clearly feminine voice behind him whisper "Hello Sochi" he immediately whipped his head around only to see Two figures standing before him one a tall man with shoulder length blonde hair, chiselled features and piercing sapphire blue eyes, he was wearing standard blue jonin attire with a white trench coat with red flames across the bottom and the Kanji for Fourth Hokage written across his back (not that Naruto could see that part.) The woman who spoke had red hair that fell down to her waist, violet eyes, mid DD cup breasts and a curvy yet athletic figure, she was wearing a simple green dress and had blue hair clips in her hair.

"Tou-san?" He managed to choke out "Kaa san?"

* * *

**Right I think That's enough of a teaser for now and it got a lot of the irritating stuff out of the way such as having to stick to cannon for most of the Kyuubi battle since the entire plot is based on Minato's battle with Obito taking _slightly_ longer than in cannon and yes I changed the timing for that Bijudama a little but I have a _very _good reason for it...I think the Hokage Monument is cool**

**Anyway I know there will probably be someone who says that no one outright attacked Naruto in cannon well just to clarify that, it also stems from the fight taking longer in that more villagers die during the attack during his time at the orphanage one person hits him the standard mob mentality kicks in, same with in the village itself: one does it others follow, it escalates.**

**OK so please read and review, hopefully I'll get the next chapter out soon and be able to get to the REAL action. Oh and feel free to point out any mistakes. That way I learn.**

**-war out**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

'Regular thoughts'

"Regular Speech"

**'Demonic Thoughts'**

**"Demonic speech"**

**Jutsu/ Technique**

**Scene change/ Time skip**

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, but I still got a shit load of course work to do so these updates will most likely be sporadic until I finish with that BUT I will try to keep updating fairly regularly**

**Guest flames that just flame for the hell of it will be deleted if they actually have some constructive criticism then it is fine, oh and one more thing... I was a little pissed at having to go for the same old mob scene but figured I already explained that well enough with the whole more dead= more hate and one lashes out others join in (standard mob mentality)...anyway...on to the story!**

**With the ANBU team carrying Naruto. At the hospital minutes earlier**

After a great deal of threats the ANBU had finally forced the medics to treat Naruto however they could not stop them from taking Naruto to a section of the hospital that looked as if no patient or cleaner for that matter had been in years. the small amount of equipment the doctors and nurses had even bothered to hook him up to seemed to be seconds away from shutting off for good, or exploding if the sparks coming off it were any indication (A/N: Think the kind of sparks that would make a taser jealous...if it had emotion... or any form of sentience whatsoever...OK just picture a LOT of sparks.) The staff soon left after giving the most basic of first aid.

As the ANBU stood guard, especially keeping an eye out for any further attacks from the hospital workers themselves the each found themselves sweating as a borderline unnatural level of killing intent emanated from the doorway where there stood one very pissed off Hokage.

"What happened?" he whispered. His voiced so laced with equal parts anger and concern for Naruto that the ANBU took an involuntary step back in the face of the glaring Hokage/grandfather figure to the child they had failed to protect.

After a few moments one ANBU wearing a Bear mask spoke up to give his account of what happened "Hokage-sama, we were watching over Uzumaki Naruto, when some of the villagers managed to distract us long enough to chase Naruto-san far enough away that we couldn't sense him and had to search manually. By the time we managed to track them down they were already beginning to leave, we quickly executed all those that we found but the child was unresponsive at this stage so we brought him here to be treated" As he finished his report the masked man could feel the Hokage's mixed emotions shift to being mostly concern as he gazed down at his surrogate grandson

Suddenly, the room was filled with so much killing intent, it made the Hokage's look like that of a fresh genin and along with it came the immediate rush of visible red Chakra, as soon as the third recognized the feeling of the Kyuubis chakra he immediately formed the strongest barrier he could in an effort to both contain the chakra both to stop it from damaging any of the ANBU in the room and to stop any sensor from picking up the disturbance and throwing the village into a frenzy "Boar go gather as many men from the barrier corps and bring them here. HURRY!" even as he was talking he could feel the barrier start to waver and cracks began to appear. They needed to hurry. If they were too late, or there was no way to stop the Kyuubi from being released then he didn't even think about what could become of Naruto...Or the entire village for that matter.

Seconds later, Just as a third tail of chakra was added to the fox shaped cloak that had formed around the sleeping boy and was beginning to lash out the same as the others the formerly raging chakra stopped. Now listing aimlessly within the barrier, everyone outside was left slack jawed, trying to make sense of what they had just witnessed 'Could he be... no its almost impossible for someone so young to control that much of the nine tails' chakra... So why has it stopped?' the old man wondered, this child laying before him still motionless, barely even showing the slightest hint of even still being alive had just managed to stump the legendary professor, along with everyone else present.

**Back inside the seal**

"Tou-san?" "Kaa-san?"

The young blonde boy gazed up at the smiling faces of his two parents who, seconds later found themselves in a vice like three way hug, courtesy of Naruto who at this point was sobbing uncontrollably with happiness at the chance to finally meet his parents.

Kushina at this point had broken down crying" Sochi...I'm so sorry...what you must have went through... to be here at such a young age...I'm so so sorry Naruto" tears openly began streaming down her face.

"Naruto, even with all you've experienced you're still so kind, to try and free the nine tails even after finding out that it would mean your death. I couldn't be prouder of you, just please don't be so careless with your life because I believe, one day you will meet people who are precious to you and you to them it may not be someday soon or that many people but it will happen. So you will need to think about what you do and try to avoid serious injury because if you were ever to die then that would hurt them more than anything."

"Don't worry Tou-san with Kurama helping me I won't be alone anymore, and I promise ill make you both proud." Naruto responded, tears flowing freely down his face.

"Sochi, our chakra is wearing out so all we can do now is tell you, when I was sealed with the Kyuubi they said the only way to live with being a Jinchuriki is to fill your heart with love. Oh and one last thing the Uzumaki-Namikaze compound should have a lot of stuff to help you get strong enough to protect yourself and your loved ones, It's protected with a blood seal so all you need to do is offer up a little blood to gain access."

"Well I guess this is good bye Naruto, you stay safe alright?"

"I will Tou-san...don't worry I will get strong enough to protect those close to me. After all, how could I stay weak when I have the strongest Bijuu sealed in me?"

At that, the mindscape returned to the dank sewer and the pain returned, except now it seemed... Manageable...Like the worst of it had already passed and now he was only left with the after effects.

**"Unbelievable, you managed to survive. Well I guess we're here for the long run then...Or as long as is possible for the average human. Anyway before we get started on your training you may want to wake up, since it looks like the chakra that was released earlier kicked the proverbial hornet's nest...Or ANBU base, either or really."**

"Right thanks for the heads up Kurama, I'll see ya soon. 'Kay?"

**'Well, it looks like the next few years will be interesting to say the least. I guess it won't be so bad staying inside the seal.'**

* * *

**Outside World**

As Narutos' vision slowly came into focus he couldn't help but register the shocked expression on the Hokages' face, and the large number of ANBU that had just entered the room. Quickly ignoring it he presented his trademark foxy grin, reserved only for those he cared about and the times he managed to outrun or avoid a mob all together.

"Hey jiji" The blonde looked on in mild surprise as the Hokage face faulted so hard he left several cracks in the floor.

After taking a moment to compose himself after recovering asked the question that everyone in the room was trying to figure out "Naruto, what happened just now?"

Deciding to tell the old man everything if just to laugh at the look on his face afterwards "Okay then, let's see; chased by villagers tortured until I was unconscious, went into my mindscape, met the Kyuubi, made friends with him, let the Kyuubi out of his cage, met my parents. sooo...What's new with you?"

The entire room seemed to freeze completely at the blondes statement before the Hokage yet again erupted with questions "Naruto how could you make friends with the Kyuubi!? don't you know what he did to the village? and how in the hell did you meet your parents?"

"First off, it wasn't his fault that the village was attacked, he was being controlled, and second even if he did it on his own it would have been justified. After all, he's been kept prisoner by this village since it was founded for no reason other than the fact that he could be a danger at some point, so really the attack 5 years ago was the villages own fault for not just leaving him alone. As for meeting my parents I guess they worked that into the seal after I was born."

Everyone in the room was staring slack jawed at the child no one had any response to that not only had they learned that the attack was caused by someone else but they had just seen the legendary Professor lose in a contest of logic against a 5 year old.

**'Kit, don't react to my voice just think what you want to say to me and I'll hear it, now, if you give me permission, I'll be able to switch places with you and actually interact with the outside world. If you let me take over for now, I think I'll be able to explain it better to them...Especially since it's starting to look like their jaws will actually be scraping the ground** **soon**' snickered Kurama.

"Right... let's see if Kyuubi himself can explain this better to you, especially because it's starting to look like I broke your brains." 'Okay Kurama you're up' and before they could recover enough from the series of revelations enough to even think clearly let alone try to stop him they found themselves staring into a pair of glowing red eyes with slitted pupils.

"**Well. Hello there."**

* * *

It wound up taking a good few minutes even after those in the room had recovered from the bombardment of information, several switches back and forth between Naruto and Kurama to convince them that Naruto wasn't being controlled before they even moved on to the actual events of the night of the attack and the shock at hearing it was the sharingan that had been controlling him, even longer for him to explain his plans to train Naruto and the need for permission to use one of the official training grounds after that, they were then allowed to use training ground 7 for the time being until a more permanent place could be found or until an _official _ninja requested the place.

* * *

**Training Ground Seven, 1 day later**

**"Right then kit, we got a lot of ground to cover in a very short space of time so given your naturally large chakra reserves the easiest way to do this is to teach you the Shadow clone technique. It's sorta like the regular clone taught at the academy except in this case, the clones are solid, and all experience and memories gained by the clones returns to the original after they dispel. The only real downside of this is the massive chakra usage and the memory backlash of dispelling too many at once, Given your reserves now and what they will one day grow to you only need to worry about the memory backlash."**

After sending the necessary hand seal, information on how to mold chakra and telling him to try it out he results were...astonishing. even Kurama was speechless since he'd been planning the full day to learn this on its own and now standing in front of Naruto were 200 clones all raring to go and Naruto himself was only a little bit tired, but still ready to go.

While his clones worked on perfecting a few minor techniques such as **transformation, substitution**, chakra control and the basic forms of the academy style. Each group with fifty clones while the original was working on strengthening his body by doing circuits of 50 sit ups, push-ups, squats and then running 10 laps of a medium sized lake nearby and every time he collapsed in exhaustion his accelerated healing factor would kick in and he would be right back up to continue in a few minutes. He dispelled the clones at regular intervals to reabsorb the knowledge before making another 200 clones to do the same thing all over again.

* * *

The daily routine continued for a full two months and in that time the routine had gotten steadily harder; weights added to help with muscle mass (though kept small to avoid stunting his growth), tree climbing had moved on to making it so he could do it as second nature, **substitution** had moved on to seal-less, he had also found out that, since he had just guessed at how the transformation worked, thinking that it actually changed your appearance instead of just being an illusion. The result? ACTUAL shape-shifting, he was now working on making it possible to change into things much smaller or larger than him (like an animal such as a cat or dog). Finally he had moved on to learning the more advanced techniques of the academy Taijutsu style.

Kurama finally decided it was time to tell Naruto the real reason he wanted him strong enough to protect himself in such a short time.

**"Kit, get into the seal I need to talk to you face to face."**

* * *

**Inside Mindscape**

"Okay I'm here whadya' need Kurama? I mean I already changed the mindscape around for you what else could you need added here."

**(A/N: The mindscape now looks like a Forrest with tall trees all around, a massive lake nearby, several mountains distance. they are currently inside a clearing that Kurama normally spends his time sleeping in.)**

**"Simple, Kit. I think you may be strong enough to take care of yourself while I give you a little 'boost' in power. Actually the reason I wanted you to become strong so fast was because, if you agree to this, then you'll basically have to rely entirely on your own abilities to protect yourself for at least a full month, especially since I won't even be able to talk to you during that time...You may want to consider asking the Hokage about permission to leave the village, at least to be on the safe side."**

Naruto stared at Kurama for a full two minutes, still at least a little nervous at the idea of being on his own for a full month but if there was anything that made him excited it was ways to get stronger so finally he responded

"Okay the Kurama, but what exactly are you gonna do? and can we wait till we're outside of the village before we start?" if there was one thing he knew it was that villagers always picked the worst possible time to get sneaky.

**"The simplest way I can think of explaining it is that I will be reawakening dormant DNA. You see kit, people retain all the genetic information of all their ancestors, BUT only a tiny portion of this is ever actively used since this covers such a wide time span it would most likely result in clone of each other if certain traits didn't become more prominent in different people and develop ones that haven't shown up in the family for years. So if this works on some unconscious level you will have the memories of your ancestors and will be able to access their knowledge to a degree as well as all potential bloodlines that could have never have activated before due to that part of your DNA being 'dormant' of course you will still need to train to use them properly at best the memories will act as hints at how to do something or if something is actually possible if it's been done before, while you will still be unsure of the details it will be similar to you just having a great instinct for battle and how to properly use techniques."**

Naruto, being so excited at the idea of getting stronger so much faster sped off to the Hokage tower...Completely unaware of the purple haired 5 year old who was now leaving the bushes she had been observing him from 'Wow he seemed pretty strong, but I wonder why he just stopped moving for a while there before he left. He didn't seem that tired...Oh crap! I got distracted and now I'm gonna be soooooo late for Orochimaru-senseis' training!' and with that she rushed off in the opposite direction, in the hopes that it would only be by a few minutes and he wouldn't be to mad... While still planning on talking to the blond kid she had seen. She soon settled on visiting the training ground every now and then to try and meet him.

**(A/N: Yes, I had her pull a Hinata, but I couldn't think of a better way for her to take an interest in him other than her liking how strong he was, and it wasn't exactly the same as what Hinata did. Anko just heard the sounds of fighting and went to see what it was.)**

* * *

**Hokages office**

Hey jiji! Yelled Naruto cheerily as he saw the aged Hokage still at work at his desk while most other people in the tower were now away for the night.

"Ah Naruto-kun, how are you today? and is your training going well?"

"Yeah it's going well jiji, actually that's what I wanted to talk to you about ya' know. You see, the fox knows of a way to help me get stronger really fast but here's the catch; he needs to focus entirely on this method so not only will I not heal as fast as I normally do I won't even be able to talk to him for a full month. So the thing I wanted to ask was if you'd let me go outside the village as an extra way to protect myself Especially since villagers seem to sense when the best time to attack me is."

At this, both the Hokage and Narutos mood darkened considerably 'I suppose it is true that they seem to have a sixth sense about these things and Naruto will easily be able to take care of himself, all we'll need to do is make sure no one can find out where he is, it will probably be safest if he goes out on his own. That way there will be no chance of a leak.'

"OK then Naruto but one thing: I can't send anyone with you or give you any advice on where you should go to avoid letting any information leak so I'll need you to keep your tracks well covered and you will need to pass the gate under a fake identity when you do leave."

"Don't worry jiji, I'll be fine, after all... I still gotta take that hat from you!" with that the blond bolted out the door to pack his essentials. Both were unaware of the hidden ROOT ANBU hidden behind the bookshelf who had just left to inform Danzo that his chance to obtain the ultimate weapon for himself.

* * *

**ROOT Headquarters, 1 hour later**

"So the Kyuubi brat can actually communicate with the Demon, and what's more it sounds like they've come to an agreement... Dispatch one of the newer teams immediately, tell them not to take him until the process is complete, and to ensure that he is not too badly injured when brought here."

"Yes, Danzo-sama" The Root nin chorused before leaving to complete his task.

'If this will really make him stronger then he will be all the more useful to me when he is under my control, it is a shame that I can't just take him while he is cut off from the beast but I still can't risk interrupting the process in any way especially with something so complicated as to take the full concentration of a being as strong as the Kyuubi, as the effects of it failing could make him useless.

* * *

**One and a half months later forest, 20 miles from Konoha**

Naruto couldn't be happier right now. The process had taken a bit longer than Kurama planed, but since it ended Naruto had never felt better. He felt much stronger, faster, had drastically improved chakra control and had vastly superior senses, in particular eyesight. What's more, he actually felt as if he was drawing in more energy from the world itself, which wasn't really surprising since Kurama had said all of his chakra seemed to have traces of nature energy in it. The fox said that while his healing would now be slightly increased, it was still nowhere near what it was before as Kurama had drained himself dry to finish the process and needed about 3 more days rest to fully recover

If the ROOT in the trees had any emotions then it would be one thing: PISSED they had spent the better part of two weeks trying to track down a freaking five year old who as of yet, didn't even seem to notice he was being tracked. What's more there had been numerous occasions where during his training sessions stray techniques or spars between his clones had went dangerously close to their hiding spot and some had even managed to injure them when they were caught off guard and worse yet, they had nearly been spotted multiple times. Causing them all to be extremely tired and sluggish with the time for them to act drawing ever closer. In less than an hour they would be springing their trap.

**FLASHBACK two days after Naruto had left the village/ one and a half days since the root had taken off in pursuit**

After retracing their steps for what felt like the hundredth time to reach the point where the trail had seemed to split into at least 20 different directions the ROOT took another careful look at the tracks and chose one that seemed to be slightly different than the others they set off again only to face the same problem later on and several places where the track seemed to disappear altogether they wound up needing to take several minutes at each point or risk wasting more time, or even losing the trail all together.

**11 days later**

Naruto had finally chosen a place to stay for the remainder of the time until the fox was finished making him stronger. Following a good distance away there was a certain group of mindless drones that was their equivalent of jumping for joy at this, so each one of them was now sporting a faint smile... which lasted all of a quarter of a second when they managed to overhear our favourite blonde talking to himself.

"Right this seems to be a pretty good place to train, hmmmm...since I can't heal like normal I guess I should learn how to use as many ninja tools as I can in this time, after all, if I run out I can just use a few transformed shadow clones... **Shadow clone jutsu! **Alright guys, aim for a tree over there!"

As he pointed at the treeline in the direction of the ROOT nins hiding spot

"Right boss!" all of the clones chorused before getting to work while he himself got back to his physical conditioning, but at a much more relaxed pace, both to keep ready for potential attacks and since he no longer had as much of an increased healing factor so he needed to play it safe.

As ROOT soon found out, Naruto was by no means accurate with a kunai as the entire area around the trees were peppered with them...including their hiding spot. Luckily, it had long been drilled into them not to make a sound when experiencing pain so they simply pulled out the kunai, wiped off the blood so he wouldn't know what happened, then ran like hell away from the targeting zone to a safer hiding spot to tend the wounds where kunai had slipped through their armour, however they couldn't use any medical jutsu as they didn't know how good of a sensor their blonde target was...But if the effort it took to find him was any indication of his skills, then it DEFINITELY wasn't a good idea to leave it to chance.

* * *

**FLASHBACK END**

Being unable to set traps beforehand since Naruto kept taking seemingly random detours, so often in fact that his pursuers had given up all hope of not just charging in... so that's what they did.

Naruto leapt out of the way to avoid some senbon that were sent directly at his neck, then needed to dodge yet again as a chain tried to snare him from the trees. Now, with the element of surprise gone all of the ROOT nins gave up any attempt at stealth while they exited their hiding spot and surrounding him.

"Naruto Uzumaki, come with us, or we will take you by force" one of the blank masked ANBU spoke stoically.

"Like hell I will, you just freakin attacked me, and now you ask me that?! Are you freakin' insane!?" Naruto yelled back. The ROOT nins seemed to pause at this, almost as if they were trying to decide if the reason they went straight to attacking was because, even with their emotionally stunted minds. Maybe. Just maybe they had wanted to extract some form of revenge upon the young blond for all the trouble they had been through the past month and a half.

Quickly shrugging off this thought they returned to their fighting stances while the one directly behind Naruto dashed forward, tanto drawn and poised to sever the muscle tendons in his legs, only to trip on a root that seemed to flex out of the ground at that critical moment and snare his leg for a split second before he broke free. Naruto quickly recognized the sound of movement behind him, he pumped chakra through his circulatory system to give him a boost of speed and ducked out of the way before another Dived in with a punch to the throat. Which Naruto blocked and responded with a mule kick to the man's stomach and a shoulder throw which sent the man flying towards the tree. _Hard_. Drawing a kunai and turning again to face his other two opponents that were still standing he found one blade a foot away from his stomach and the other a split second away from disabling his shoulder, he unconsciously sent large amounts of chakra to his eyes. Time seemed to slow until the two ROOT seemed to be moving at an almost sluggish pace, what's more he found himself capable of predicting both the weapons trajectories, he quickly diverted the blade aimed at his gut with the kunai and dived under the one aimed at his shoulder quickly springing up he threw the kunai as fast as he could at the one closest to him, which hit him dead in the throat, killing him almost instantly and leaving the other two cursing their exhaustion and the resultant sluggishness.

Soon, Naruto rounded on the other two, drawing and launching another two Kunai at them with pinpoint accuracy, while silently grateful he had spent time practicing how to throw them properly, the two ROOT nins however had managed to dodge both of the kunai, leaving them implanted in the trees behind them...Or so they thought. Turning to face the poof of smoke behind them, just a little bit too late as those clones charged forward, both stabbing their respective opponent in the heart and then dispelling with a puff of smoke. Strangely Naruto did not feel any of the disgust at his first kills that he had heard other ninja talk about when he had walked the streets of Konoha in disguise. Quickly concluding that he must have been desensitized to it from the way that he was..._'raised', _while also concluding that it was him or them and he would NOT die just after finding a reason to live. So after taking the men's masks to ask about later when he was in front of the third. He began making his way to Konoha only to feel the fox pulling him into his mindscape seconds later.

* * *

**Inside Mindscape**

"So what's up Kurama?"

**"Hold on a second kit let me take a closer look at your eyes...well, that's interesting. looks like you got the sharingan from me activating that dormant DNA."**

"What the hell!? I got one of those freakin' emos as my ancestor? This sucks!" he still remembered several beatings at the hands of the Uchiha...and he knew for a fact that most were high ranking shinobi and knew that he was just the container, which meant that they did it just for the sheer fun of it. This earned them a special spot in Narutos' list of revenge targets.

**"Calm down kit, I don't think you have any Uchiha in your family tree... you aren't nearly enough of a stuck up prick for that...Nah it's probably from the Senju DNA that you got from having Uzumaki blood"**

Seeing the boys blank look the fox decided to elaborate a bit more **"I've already explained to you about the sage of the six paths and how his two sons formed the Senju and Uchiha clan after he split his power between them so I won't cover that again,. But, what I didn't mention is a theory I've had for the last couple hundred years now...The sage didn't really split his power! What he really did was make some of the DNA inside each of his sons go dormant, drastically reducing their strength. This originally was just as a safety measure, in case one of his sons, or their descendants became too drunk on power this acted both as a precaution to make sure they wouldn't do too much damage and so they would be able to better understand ordinary people instead of just viewing them as 'lesser beings'."**

"Wow the old man was pretty smart, I mean, he REALLY hit the nail on the head with that one, he couldn't even imagine what would happen to the Uchihas' over inflated egos if they were even stronger" both Naruto and Kurama shared an involuntary shudder at the thought.

**"Oh and there's one more thing I want to find out. Did you notice the guy who tripped over a root?"**

Naruto sweatdropped "Is this really the time to talk about lucky breaks?"

**"You see that's the thing, I'm not so sure it was luck. It was almost as if the root moved on its own to help you...Before you go to the village I want you to pump your chakra into a tree, if I'm right then we may have found one of your other abilities"**

* * *

**Outside World**

Not wasting any time, Naruto walked over to the closest tree and pumped a small amount of his chakra into the tree, seconds later large branches began to sprout out of the previously small tree as the trunk itself grew much larger and it began to reach the height of, and then surpass all the other trees in the area, even the leaves looked greener and healthier than the other trees in the Forrest.

"Cool" was the only thing the young blond could say in response to this.

**"Yup, looks like you got the wood release as well kit, anyway you should hurry back to the old geezer now and tell him about the attack... just don't mention the sharingan or the wood release since that will just cause a whole bunch of other problems for us... OH one more thing... I got another plan to help you get stronger but you're gonna need to ask the third about it. I'll tell you about it while you're heading back."**

* * *

**7 hours later Hokages office**

"Ah there you are, dog I'd like you to meet our newest trainee ANBU, Fox. Dog, I need you to show him around the ANBU facility" said the third from behind his desk.

"Yes, Hokage-sama...What the hell!?" replied the silver haired ANBU as he took in the image of the latest ANBU trainee standing in front of him, wearing a full set out the standard ANBU gear complete with the ANBU tattoo visible on his shoulder.

"N-N-Naruto?" he stammered out.

"Hhhh, do people not get the purpose of these masks, I get that they are kind of pointless because of my hair but still. The least you could do is check there is no one listening in first." yelled the irate blond.

"Hokage-sama, why has Naruto been placed in ANBU? It's far too dangerous for a child!" Yelled Kakashi **(A/N: It was kind of obvious who he is so I'm just gonna be calling him by name from here on)**

The aged Hokage took a long drag from his pipe before responding "This 'child' has been through more torture than all of the prisoners at the T&amp;I department put together and what's more." He held up the three blank ROOT masks "He is also more than capable of defending himself, now he has asked to join ANBU simply to view the library to help learn more techniques, while it is true all ANBU must have a mission at regular intervals...Naruto or rather, Fox"

Naruto kneeled in front of the Hokage "Yes, Hokage-sama?"

"Your mission is a long term mission, act as weak as possible to the public, while training in secret until such time as you deem you are strong enough to reveal your true strength."

"Yes, Hokage-sama" he replied, still ever so slightly annoyed about that part of the plan, but the third had already explained to him, in exacting detail what would happen if people in or outside the village knew how strong he was, they would go after him, in an attempt to neutralise a potential soon to be threat to their village, or some idiot civilian in-house would panic over the 'demon' getting stronger and so would be more likely a proper assassination squad, and not the half-assed version that the typically tight-assed bastards would normally send in an effort to save themselves some money, later when they gave up on attacking him directly, they would soon go for those he cared about. Even if that list was currently very short, being just the Hokage (not too much danger of him getting targeted) and a father- daughter duo that were currently running a ramen shop. He still wouldn't put it past them trying to use any friends he were to make in the future against him once was a recognised threat. Definitely safer to wait.

"Alright, dismissed" and with that Kakashi put his hand on Narutos shoulder and **Body flickered **away.

Leaving the Hokage to look at the masks as he grew steadily more pissed that he couldn't reprimand Danzo for this publicly, due to ROOT being officially disbanded allowing Danzo to simply point this out and claim it must have been some other organisation, then there would be the reaction of the civilian council if it was found out exactly WHO it was had killed the three ninja. Nope! Letting them know, given the councils track record with secrets, would be tantamount to sending out fliers saying 'HEY! We got this kid who's THIS strong at age FIVE once he's done getting stronger, you guys are FUCKED!' to all of the other shinobi villages they would see Naruto as the second yellow flash, and more than likely send every assassin they could to nip this threat in the bud. (1)

* * *

**(A/N: WARNING, WARNING SHIT LOAD OF TIMESKIPS AHEAD!)**

**1 month later**

Naruto was leaving the Ninja supply store fully stocked with all the necessary materials to help with what could only be described as the prank of the year. He really needed to thank Kurama for the idea to practice stealth by pranking and now he had his sights set on the Uchiha compound, the plan was simple: he would put itching powder on all their cloths, paint bombs rigged to go off at all doorways with rigs that would re prime the door when closed and the device itself would be _inside _the wall itself to avoid sharingan detection, A VERY large and varied amount of fireworks to mimic the sounds of an attack to give them a reason to go through the door in the first place. Lastly, there were a large number of rainbow powder bombs, a pranking variant of the explosive tags, modified by the one who was planning all this and not for the first time the blond was marvelling at how easily he was learning** fuinjutsu **obviously he wasn't that far along in learning it, but he had learned the basics and what's more. he _understood_ it there were very few people who could do fuinjutsu, much less who understood _why _some things worked and others didn't, but so far he was able to discern which part of the seal did what but he could point to each part of simple seals and say what function it fulfilled, this allowed him to change small parts of the design such as with the exploding tag. explode was changed to disperse and then a storage formula was added in to hold the powder.

He was then interrupted in his plans for the Uchiha by a certain purple haired girl.

"Hey, you're the kid that I saw training a few months ago."

"You were watching me train? why?"

She shrugged "I was curious since I don't see people my age train ANYTHING like that...Well except for clan heirs but most of them do it on clan property. ANYWAY wanna spar?"

"Why would we spar?"

"To see who's stronger. Obviously. And it seems like fun."

"Okay then, let's go!" but Naruto didn't really care who won all he wanted was the chance to make a friend, after their spar came to a draw he treated her to ramen and agreed to spar again sometime soon, they did and he won so she treated him to dango this continued for several more months and the become fast friends, soon deciding that since they were friends and both orphans living alone that it would be better if they lived together and split the cost of living while keeping each other company. Over the course of about a year Naruto even shared some of his history along with his training in ANBU and even told her about his 'tenant'(he did however ask that she not mention it to anyone) and they both took to training in Area 44, also known as the Forrest of Death when Anko didn't have training with her sensei this routine continued until a few months before they were to actually enter the academy.

As for his training over this time. He had found out he possessed strong affinities for all elements but lightning, he had begun the basics of training his wood release, mostly in secret since it was one of his best trump cards and while he didn't like the idea of becoming dependent on his eyes, he still trained to mature them to the point where they were now fully matured since it would still make a very good trump card in a life or death fight. Lastly, he had visited the Namikaze clan compound and found the instructions for a large number of his parents' techniques though so far he had only really perfected the Rasengan and the Uzumaki Taijutsu style, which relied on speed and unpredictability to disable their enemies.

**Naruto and Ankos' apartment**

Naruto entered the apartment he shared with Anko after a full day of training to find what appeared to be the remnants of a war, holes peppering the walls, ceiling and floor, all of their appliances destroyed and littering said floor, tables overturned, and what seemed to be sobbing coming from Ankos' bedroom.

"Anko-chan?" "ANKO-CHAN!?" Abandoning all caution he rushed through the door to her room.

Immediately spotting her huddled up into a ball in the corner sobbing uncontrollably into her knees with one hand gripping her left shoulder.

Quickly moving forward to comfort her, he found out after calming her for a good half an hour, he finally managed to get the full story of how her sensei had done some WEIRD experiments (mostly involving children) and had even used Anko as a subject for his research...Which was the time the third found out what he was doing and tried to take him prisoner, only to have him slither away**(A/N: I'm sorry...)** What's more, he learned that since word spread, people had begun treating her differently, mostly this was just cold stares and occasional mutterings to other people nearby... and Naruto knew well how quickly those whispers turned into actions so soon made a half dozen shadow clones to check and improve the already extensive array of security seals, as an extra measure of precaution.

* * *

**That night**

Naruto found himself awakening to the sounds of footsteps approaching the bed quickly deciding it couldn't be an enemy he cracked an eye open to see what Anko wanted...and was thoroughly surprised when she didn't say a word and simply crawled under the covers and snuggled up closer to him. Deciding that anyone in her situation right now wouldn't want to spend the night alone he simply pulled her closer and whispered "Goodnight, Anko-chan" into her ear before drifting back off to sleep, with Anko following him soon after.

* * *

From then on the two trained together mostly in the forest of death, any time either were exhausted then Kurama would soon top them off again so they could keep going. One of the great advantages of the forest was the inherent privacy that came along with it so Naruto was free to Practice his wood release as much as he wanted, he soon mastered most of the first Hokages' techniques, with the exception of the wood golem and a few others since they would have drawn FAR too much attention when learning them, he even created a few wood techniques of his own later on. Naruto soon dived fully into seals in an attempt to free Anko from the cursed seal Orochimaru left her with and by the time he was 10 was on the border of becoming a level 10 seal master. As for weapons he soon decided that most...conventional weapons didn't suit him well enough. Staves, while good all round weapons, broke easily and were not suited for kill shots. Swords, while good for killing strikes, were bad at incapacitating. So he decided to get the best of both something which could be handled like a staff, while having a means of easy kill shots and most importantly...sheer baddassery-ness yes that was what he needed...A scythe.

As for Anko, she had become EXTREMELY skilled at poisons, traps and anything snake. While she was also skilled at Taijutsu, using her superior speed and flexibility to weave in and around opponents while striking the critical points on their body.

* * *

Shortly after they turned 8 they were enrolled in to the same class in the academy along with several prominent clan heirs and, as per Kuramas' suggestion had planned to keep a low profile, each sending in a shadow clone while they trained... that plan lasted all of 2 days. Shortly after joining there was a unscheduled Taijutsu practice against the assistant teacher Mizuki who, obviously had a deep seeded hatred for both the blond and Anko so had went much more roughly with them which, since they weren't expecting him to move that fast, had reacted on reflex...he woke up in the hospital a week later after suffering severe nerve damage and a 'paralysing poison that no one at the hospital had seen or heard of before'.

Of course... the council soon heard of this and summoned him to their meeting chambers.

* * *

**Sorry if the emotional scenes aren't quite good enough but I did say and always will say that they are my weakest area and as for the way Minato kinda goes into a really long winded speech, that's still working off the idea that they only had a few seconds with their son and were trying to give as much advice to make his life easier as possible.**

**(1)- Yes, I'm over-stressing this point, but I got a good number of people complaining in reviews that there was no good reason for him to hide his skill. So I may have gone a little overboard in pointing out that there is a pretty fucking good reason for it. And I didn't even go into the reasons why revealing his parents would be a bad idea… short version is no more attacks within the village, attacks from outside the village would go on steroids when compared to if they just thought he was strong and a potential threat to them.**

**As for Ankos behaviour after Orochi-pedo left... she still hadn't created her 'mask' yet and was also very vulnerable at that time.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

'Regular thoughts'

"Regular Speech"

**'Demonic Thoughts'**

**"Demonic speech"**

**Scene change/ Time skip**

**Should probably mention that the joining ANBU was mostly training purposes and the permission to use certain training grounds such as the forest of death so once he becomes a genin, he leaves... just clarifying it now since it won't show up later**

**One more thing, since the poll is running towards jackass, there is a bit of needless Sasuke bashing... but that would probably have been there anyway cuz let's face it; he was a real jackass at this stage.**

**Council chambers, three hours after the students 'spar' with Mizuki**

The Hokage found himself looking over at the two children who had been dragged before the council. The council, which was currently looking at every possible way to have them both executed. Or at least taken out of the Ninja program indefinitely. Of course, he knew for a fact that they wouldn't be able to do anything to them. No. What was causing the headache was the fact that their true strength would most likely become public knowledge. As he refocused on the clamour from the civilian side of the council he couldn't help but wince at the high pitched voice of a certain Banshee/ Head of the civilian side.

"I say we execute them. We can't let them get away with ganging up and trying to kill an instructor!" she screeched.

Looking over to the seemingly terrified young children and wondered briefly if he was the only one who saw that there was _absolutely _no fear in their eyes. In fact, they were almost breaking out in laughter as they watched the whole scene transpire. He briefly thanked Kami that the civilian side was too focused on getting the two executed, to realize that no academy students should be able to beat a chunin, even if they were taken by surprise by a hundred _regular _academy students. It still wouldn't work. Luckily, the civilian side was too set on getting them killed to realize this, and the shinobi side didn't care, them being all too used to ignoring the civilian side when they got like this.

Finally the third spoke up "Need I remind all of you that the instructor in question was reported to have been using drastically excessive force against these children, if Mitarashi-san hadn't surprised him then Naruto would most likely be dead" letting a little killer intent leak out to shut up the mutterings of how close they came to being rid of them both.

The discussions dragged on for a few more hours which consisted of the civilian side saying more or less the same thing over and over again after which the Hokage simply said that he couldn't punish them for an over eager teacher and afterward called them both to his office.

* * *

**Hokages Office**

After collapsing down into the chair behind his desk the Hokage let out an exasperated sigh. "Naruto, Anko. Didn't I tell you two to hide your abilities?"

After a quick nod from both of them "Then what the hell was that about?!" he yelled.

"Well, we figured that a chunin getting caught off guard was easier to explain than either chunin taken down by academy student or that we were using shadow clones" he replied nonchalantly, meanwhile Anko was biting her lip to stop herself from laughing.

Clearly relieved that they avoided letting the secret out altogether "Okay... but why did you put Mizuki-san in the hospital?"

Naruto scoffed at this, and even Anko seemed to get a little angry at that. "That guy was practically oozing hatred towards us. We figured that this would make him a little bit more nervous about trying anything again."

"Yeah...Plus it was kinda funny when he started foaming at the mouth..." (Do I really need to say who this was?) Naruto then burst out laughing while the old man stared open mouthed at the pair.

* * *

"Well that was fun!" said Anko, who was in a pretty cheery mood after leaving the Hokages office.

"Yup, we gotta get dragged to the council more often." Replied Naruto.

"It's kinda late so we can't really train...Wanna get some dango?" asked Anko, fully expecting what followed. With a scream of excitement Naruto hoisted her over his shoulders and sped over to his favourite dango shop while still not liking dango as much as ramen, they had both started to really like the others favourite food to the point that, on the two days a week when they were able to eat whatever they wanted (Kurama had started making them both eat healthily to help them with their physical training) was now split 50/50 between ramen and dango.

* * *

**Three years and 8 months later**

It was the morning of the academies graduation exam and a certain blond had just woken up and was now enjoying the feeling of his girlfriend's body pressed tightly against him, with her head resting against his chest

'All that stuff at the beginning of my life? Totally worth it, now just focus on not waking her and maybe we can jus-' He paused just as Anko started stirring 'Dammmmmmnnnnniiiiiiittttttt... well, I guess we could pick up after the graduation exams. In fact even better since then we'll be legal adults (While both were at that stage in their relationship, they decided to wait until they were legal adults, agreeing that anything before that was Orochimarus' territory) and then...' he was interrupted yet again as she started to wake up.

"Morning Naru-kun" she purred before giving him a deep kiss on the lips

"Dibs on first shower" she said before getting up to go to the bathroom but paused in the doorway shooting back a smile.

"Unless you'd like to join me, Whiskers-kun?" she asked coyly. (Hey, just because they don't actually have sex yet doesn't mean that they don't tease each other now and then)

"There's gonna be tons of time for that later, Anko-chan. Besides, wouldn't want to miss the whole graduation test." He chuckled, just barely catching the hint of a blush as she closed the door.

* * *

They both quickly got ready for the test, putting on the clothes they had made specifically for their becoming genin, for Naruto, this consisted of black ANBU pants which were taped off at the legs, A black muscle shirt and a black cloak, similar in design to the fourth Hokages cloak but with white flames along the hem, a large white fox head emblem on the back and the Uzumaki swirl on each shoulder as well as a few hidden ninja weapons and some supplies sealed away into a storage scroll. For Anko this was a mesh body suit going down to her knees and just past her shoulders with a purple long-sleeved shirt worn over it with a short combat skirt, as for weapons, she wore most in regular pouches with extra supplies kept in storage seals. Over the time training together both had grown to the point where they were quite tall for their age with Naruto being 5'3 with a compact, muscular build, with his hair now reaching down to his shoulders with two bangs on either side framing his face. Anko is now 4'11 with an athletic build and her hair in a fanned ponytail and already developed just barely C cup breasts

Just before leaving to go to the exam both did their regular transformation to hide their general development and look similar to how regular academy students their age did, but that didn't mean they weren't going to give the rest of the class some hint of what a real ninja could do during this test. Especially since Naruto had gotten into the habit of instinctively holding back, something which could easily get him killed on a mission. Showing off a little would hopefully help speed that along. Anko had much less chance of any actual attempts on her life, so while she didn't make any effort to hide her abilities to the degree that Naruto did, she never really made an attempt to stand out. Neither really cared if their relationship was found out, since no one was targeting them…yet.

Anko grabbed Naruto's shoulder before he disappeared in a yellow flash of light only to reappear on the roof of the academy building in another flash of light ( flashback pending later in chap), then they both went to take their seats inside the classroom to wait for the instructor.

* * *

**1/2 hour later**

Finally all the instructor and his assistant entered the room the assistant was a fairly average chunin with short brown hair, wearing the standard chunin uniform named Keigo who had been the one to replace Mizuki after he resigned (he switched over to trying to sabotage Naruto and Anko in more subtle ways, so the two literally spent weeks pranking him nonstop at every possible point in his day. Actually, it only took a week to get him to quit, the week after was just for fun)

After the exams were handed out Naruto had to cover his mouth to avoid laughing, the questions were so...easy. They both finished in 10 minutes and started talking by using the ANBU Morse code for the other 50 minutes. Mainly betting on who would fail and stopping each other from trying to... nudge the odds in their favour, but neither tried to stop the Uchihas paper from being tampered with (they were still letting him pass for their plan to work, but just barely) Naruto having used the sharingan to place a genjutsu on the paper to make it so he couldn't see some of the questions.

The thrown weapons test went more or less the same with Naruto and Ankos' sudden skill shocking most of the other students while Naruto left unnoticeable chakra threads attached to the weapons, having them exert _just enough_ force on the weapons to take them clear of the high scoring area and some off the target all together when Sasuke threw them.

Ignoring the screams of his fan girls that something must be wrong with the weapons he, in the typical Uchiha fashion demanded that he get another attempt at it and in the typical fashion of a pandering moron the random instructor replied with "Of course Sasuke just, try it one at a time this time, Okay?"

"Hn" he grunted and, ignoring the instructors' advice threw them all at once. This time however, ALL the weapons missed the target 'Take that you smug bastard!' though Anko/ Naruto simultaneously while trying to avoid falling on the floor laughing.

"D-don't worry Sasuke, I'll just use the last one for your score"

"Hn" he grunted in response yet again while seemingly uncaring on the outside, inside his mind was racing 'How? HOW?! Someone must be trying to sabotage me, but who? Could it be those two? No they are... different but they still couldn't fool an elite like me! So who else could it be?'

At sparring, the traps were a little more subtle, since they revolved around Naruto 'accidentally' bumping into Sasuke and in that time he placed several seals one tricked the brain into thinking it was putting in more effort than it actually was and the other caused him to feel a little dizzy, this threw off his timing, coordination and balance. To the point that, most others would fail simply based on this. However, since the instructor overseeing this favoured the Uchiha, the generous grading would even it out to barely pass. While both Naruto and Anko scored full marks since both took their opponents out in a split second with a single chop to the back of the neck

As for the last one there wasn't really anything he could do to throw him off that wouldn't make him fail all together so he just waited for his turn

"Next Naruto Uzumaki" said Iruka from the desk

"Alright, now perform the substitution, clone and transformation" he finished

Naruto switched sealessly with a chair on the other side of the room but for the clone "Iruka-sensei, I can't do a clone Technique in somewhere this cramped, I always make way too many can I do this outside?"

"Umm...Sure Naruto, why not?"

A few seconds later Iruka was staring slack jawed at a small army of clones that were now covering every corner of the training field after recovering from his shock he could only stare before responding with" very impressive Naruto but I'm going to have to take away marks since this would waste a lot of chakra in a real fight"

Naruto stared at him with a puzzled look before replying "Wasted chakra? But I'm only using about 1/5000000 of my total reserves since the clone uses the same amount of chakra as breathing,"

It was about a minute before Iruka reset his jaw in the right position, now taking on the look of someone who had seen everything and there was nothing left to surprise him walked back up to the classroom full of students who were now shocked speechless, and then there was Anko and her camera taking photographs to laugh more at their expressions later... and for possible blackmail.

"Okay, now do the transformation"

"Eh, how about I just undo the one I have on right now?" he replied

"Undo? But... you look exactly the same as always!"

Wordlessly, he formed a seal and released the transformation, just as he did that three things happened 1. Iruka fainted from shock. 2. Anko also dropped her transformation. 3. A low powered explosive seal went off sending a certain Uchiha through the ceiling, as that seal happened to be located on his chair... to the sounds of even more clicking of Ankos advantage of this was that everyone was too busy either laughing their asses of at the Uchiha (the guys of the class) or frantically checking he was OK (fan-girls) to bombard Naruto and Anko with questions about their appearance. Only a single girl near the back of the class fell into neither of those groups, but she passed out from a nosebleed and a nuclear level blush after seeing what Naruto looked like without the henge.

* * *

**1 day later, council meeting chamber**

"Hokage-sama, it must be some sort of mistake that Uchiha-sama scored so low in his exams. We must let him retake the test since someone must have sabotaged him for this to happen!" yelled a random merchant, which was met with general cries of agreement from the rest of the civilian side and the imperceptible twitch of the hand for several shinobi in the room, showing the were struggling to restrain themselves from throwing/strangling/generally maiming a few choice members of the civilian side.

'You just love making my job harder don't you Naruto? Still who would have thought you would do this when I said you would need to be on Sasuke's team to have Kakashi as a sensei, at least without the complications of the council demanding he would train 'the last Uchiha', you even pulled this off so flawlessly, there's absolutely no evidence that you did anything at all' pulled out from his musings by the increasing noise coming from the council chamber he returned his attention to the matter at hand sending out a pulse of killing intent to shut up the others in the room.

"I will NOT be showing favouritism to ANY of the pupils, Sasuke will remain this year's dead-last. And the rookie of the year will remain Naruto Uzumaki. Now, on to the team assignments."

* * *

**1 month later, academy classroom**

"Alright settle down everyone, it's time for the team assignments!"

"Team 1..." Naruto decided this would be a good time to catch some sleep until his name was called.

"Team seven. Naruto Uzumaki, Anko Mitarashi and Sasuke Uchiha, your sensei will be Kakashi Hatake"

"WHAT!?" was the collective cry of all the fan-girls in the room, who were heartbroken at the thought of being separated from their crush

"Iruka sensei, why is Naruto baka on Sasuke-kuns' team, why can't I be on it?!" screeched Sakura

"Because Sakura, the teams' skill level needs to be balanced so it's been a standing tradition to have the rookie of the year go with the Kunoichi of the year and the dead last of that year"

After realizing that the fan girls of the class were all swooning about how Sasuke was so cool for being rookie of the year and how they wished he wasn't stuck with Naruto he spoke up again, fully expecting the backlash to follow "Actually Sasuke was the one to score the lowest" a split second later he dived under the desk as his glass of water exploded from Sakura and the other fan girls shrieks that Naruto must have cheated reached the point where most people's ears would start bleeding. Meanwhile, Sasuke was sitting in the corner, still fuming over being the dead last and otherwise being his usual brooding self.

* * *

In the hours after the team assignments Naruto and Anko had gone from pissed to vengeful. Fun fact, two pranking geniuses are not the kind of people you want to annoy, and being three hours late will do just that so that. This is the story of how a deceptively simple prank of an eraser in the door turned into the tale of legend spoke by pranksters of future generations in hushed tones. It was: the tale of the lost jonin. but I' couldn't be bothered telling it so I'll just say that after one very shaky Kakashi, after his trip back for the female section of the hot springs where he was tied up, tarred and feathered and on top of his entire Icha Icha collection returned to the academy (currently vowing never to be late again with THIS team ) and just to be safe sent a shadow clone to the room while he waited on the roof (with a transformation applied to hide his startling resemblance to a chicken that survived an attack from a fox)

* * *

**The next day in training ground 7, 9:00**

This day would mark the first time in a long time for the copy Nin. Today for once, he was on time. Not that his genin team was complaining.

"Now for your actual genin exam, this has a 66% rate of failure meaning that two of you will most likely be going back to the academy. The goal is to take these bells from me before lunch. If you fail you will be tied to those posts and not given any food." declared Kakashi hoping that for once he had gotten a group that would understand the value of teamwork. Council's orders be damned. If they didn't get the meaning of teamwork then no amount of political pressure would get him to train the kids.

"Hn. You two should just leave then Dobe, because I'll be the one to get those bells" Sasuke smirked, and Kakashi felt his hopes for this team plummet 'If they're all like that, I may as well fail them now'

"Last time I checked, YOU were this year's dead last. So I don't see why you're calling me Dobe, especially since I was the rookie of the year, so I'll ask once, do you want to work WITH me and Anko-chan. Or will you just try and fail on your own" Naruto smirked right back.

"Like I'd be held back by dead weight like you. I'll do this on my own" he shot back, visibly seething at the blow to his pride.

Sasuke's' attempt was, for lack of a better word, hilarious. Watching a fresh genin try to beat a jonin by sheer brute force, even if he was more skilled than most, was like seeing a toddler try to beat their 10 year old big brother. Sasuke went in with the Uchiha interceptor style, trying to get in a punch to the stomach which Kakashi blocked without even looking Sasuke then followed through with a flurry of jabs at any openings he could spot, followed by an axe-kick to the head and, pivoting on his hands, a rising kick to the jaw. All of which were dodged, except for the last two which were caught. Kakashi then threw the genin towards a tree, only for Sasuke to recover mid-flight and launch a **Great fireball **at him before turning to soften the Impact... it did him little good. He soon found himself wheezing on the floor trying to recover the breath that was knocked out of him and shake the numbness out of the arm he used to cushion the impact. He didn't even have enough time to recover his bearings, if he could he would have notices the wire trap that had him bound to the tree.

Kakashi, having dealt with the Uchiha looked over at his other two students...and caused a minor earthquake with the force of his face fault. They were...They were...PLAYING ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!?

"YES! Looks like I get all the fun this time, whiskers-kun" Anko cheered, already shifting into an advanced stance from the snake style.

"Damn...well...at least I'll get to see a good show."

'Are they even trying to pass!? These two should have been the best at teamwork and it's like they aren't even taking me seriously. They can't possibly have gotten that strong during their time training together, could they?' (**A/N; No, Kakashi didn't help them train. He knows Naruto hid his strength due to being the one who helped him find his way around the ANBU facility and saw him in the technique library occasionally but as of yet has never seen either of them fight)**

It seemed he was going to get his answer as Anko charged and launched into a mid-chunin speed flurry of punches, kicks, knees and elbows. Which, in itself wouldn't be that hard for a jonin to avoid... If it wasn't for the regular appearance of snakes from the sleeves of her shirt... Well, that and the earth spikes that seemed to appear at every spot he tried to place his feet, the cloud of dust that was taking form around all of the area and the occasional fireball thrown in. One thing he _definitely _wasn't expecting was when Anko vanished in a flash of purple light, while he was still trying to pinpoint her location he wound up receiving a _very _painful boot to the back of the head.

'What the hell!? Was that the Hiraishin? But how the hell could she know how to do it?! Could it have been Naruto that taught her? But who the hell taught him?!' as all this was passing his mind in the space of half a second he heard the distant sound of a bell going off. Quickly composing himself and resolving to get some answers later he called a halt to the test and ordered the group to assemble. Sasuke, who had been untied by Naruto was staring slack jawed and speechless throughout most of the fight and was still having trouble composing himself as he gathered with the other members of team seven.

"While everyone here did show surprising skill, you all failed to get the bells, but...I'm...willing..to" He trailed off as he saw the shared grin on Anko and Naruto's faces, each holding a bell up in front of his face. He looked down to where the bells were supposed to be, only to see the two around his waist transform back into clones of Naruto.

"How?" he asked.

"Hehe, I kinda used your fight with Anko as a distraction, then switched them when you weren't looking... You didn't think we were working separately on this did you?" Naruto chuckled sheepishly.

"OK then. Team seven, pass" he gave an eye smile before adding "We'll meet up here tomorrow. Sasuke you can go home, Naruto, Anko, I need to talk to you."

* * *

"Anko, how do you know the Hiraishin?" looking to Naruto for confirmation, and seeing the slight nod of his head after a little deliberation.

"Naru-kun taught me a few years ago" she said calmly

**Flashback, 2 years ago**

Naruto (age 10) had finally decided that he was ready to learn the Hiraishin, having reached seal mastery a few months ago. He started studying his father's notes on the technique a few hours ago and was finished reading all the notes on the technique.

CRASH

As he rose from the imprint his face made on the floor he couldn't help but mutter to himself "Freaking idiot. And they called him a genius!"

After about half an hour of writing down a reverse summoning, remote activation, locator, several dozen layers of encryption seals (half of which were keyed to his blood to stop it from being copied by enemies) and finally, a compression seal overlaying the whole thing to make it easier to conceal inside kunai and other objects (The final seal was actually almost as complex as the original flying thunder God but only needed minor tweaks to be used by different people)

Quickly wrapping the seal tag around a kunai, he casually tossed it across the room and disappeared in a yellow flash of light, only to reappear in a similar flash of light and slam head first into the wall and have to scurry out of the way of the kunai a split second before it embedded itself into the wall. 'Hehe... guess I need a little practice before I can use it in battle.' Then in a light bulb moment he went off to where Anko was studying Earth technique scrolls.

"Hey! Anko-chan, wanna learn the Flying Thunder God Technique?"

* * *

Kakashi couldn't help but stare at the two with a look of utter shock and disbelief "You mean to say that, what is possibly the most powerful space time technique in existence... Is an advanced self-summoning seal?"

"Yup, all you really need is master level skill with seals. Oh, being a sensor helps you pick up on the locator portion of the seal." Chirped Naruto.

He fixed them both with a glare "From this moment on, we make this an SS-class secret. While something like this would take a seal master to do properly, we need to keep this a secret from anyone trying to steal it. So, from this moment on, just say that it's the same as the original technique and hopefully any of the people that tried to copy the original won't even look at this one, for fear of wasting even more time on something that they will never be able to copy." at this his thoughts drifted to a certain super pervert that had wasted almost a full year trying to figure it out.

"Anyway, all that aside...How strong are you two?" He asked.

Both shared a look before simultaneously nodding. It was Naruto who rattled off the list of most of their skill (leaving out the secret techniques they had mastered... mostly since that would cause the council to rain down all kinds of hell if they found out and still having a little trouble kicking his habit)

"Well, I'm a level 10 seal master, Anko is Level 9 bordering on 10 but that's mostly since there was no real need for her to get any better than that. The fox said that we're around high jonin in taijutsu with our resistance seals off. My ninjutsu is easily Kage level, Anko's around jonin. Genjutsu? Let's not talk about it." Both seemed to sulk for a moment before recovering " Other than that, I'm at mastery level with Bojutsu (He adapted the style to suit his use of a scythe). My chakra reserves are around 5 times the average Kage with close to jonin control, Anko has reserves at mid jonin with high jonin control."

"Wait. You know about the 9-tails?!" He exclaimed.

Naruto just gave him a deadpan look "Jiji didn't tell you?" Upon seeing his blank expression he decided to elaborate "I've known about him since I was 5. Actually, I met him a little while before I went into ANBU for training"

"Naruto, I know the Hokage probably already told you this but you CANNOT TRUST THE FOX!"

Naruto couldn't help but let out an exasperated sigh "I've been friends with him since we met and he even refused freedom when I offered to let him out since it would have killed me. Furthermore, the attack when I was born wasn't his fault, he was being controlled at the time! And even if he wasn't then it would have been justified! He was kept sealed away just because 'He may be a threat someday' but even then as soon as he got back control he wasn't able to flee because they were already mid-way into resealing him!"

Kakashi was shocked, to say the least even after just hearing that short explanation he was beginning to be able to see things from the 9-tails point of view and could honestly say that, if even half of that happened to him then he would probably have done much worse to the people who caused it. "Okay Naruto, I'll trust your judgement on this, but I've got to ask. Exactly how much of the 9-tails power can you control?"

Naruto just smirked "All"

Kakashi almost felt like dancing. He actually hit the jackpot with this team (ignoring a certain broody bastard) Oh he was gonna rake in the cash at the chunin exams, and what's more, he didn't even need to train them that much!

"Right, I guess I'll see you both tomorrow for the first mission" They both seemed to miss the humour flitting behind his eyes when he uttered the word 'mission'. Seconds later they both left in a flame body flicker to their apartment. Or more specifically, their bedroom.

* * *

**Lemon starts**

A split second later he found himself shoved onto the bed and locked into a deep make-out session with Anko, lasting for almost twenty minutes before Narutos' mouth started to drift down to her collar bone, eliciting a light moan from Anko. Not one to be outshone, Anko started grinding into him slowly, very slowly causing him to make a groan of his own. Reaching up he began to massage one of her breasts while he removed her top with his free hand before moving it to join the other in its ministrations. Resulting in another wave of moans from Anko, which were soon cut off by his tongue invading her mouth yet again.

Soon, his lips started moving lower, getting ever closer to her hips as his hands slowly eased both her skirt and panties down and removing the mesh bodysuit, exposing that the thin black material was soaked through from her arousal, looking up for permission he saw Anko, silently giving a nod and so dove in, eagerly lapping up her juices from around her lower lips before focusing most of his attention on her clit, clamping down on it with his lips and causing Anko to cry out from the pleasure and push his head deeper into her folds. Further spurring Naruto on as he plunged his tongue into her while moving one hand to replace his mouth over her sensitive clit, rolling it with his fingers and giving it light pinches, and using his other hand to massage her right breast. With the sensory overload, it was only a few minutes before she came into his mouth, which he eagerly lapped up, savouring the taste of her release.

Anko quickly noticed the taste of her own juices when Naruto began kissing her yet again. Deciding it was her turn to please him she lowered herself onto her knees at the foot of the bed and worked on removing his clothes, which was made almost impossible due to him being almost painfully erect. Finally freeing it from his pants she quickly grabbed on with both hands and began licking the tip like a lollipop before taking the whole tip into her mouth and sucking almost as hard as she could, then what could only be described as the greatest idea in the history of mankind entered her head, channelling a little chakra to her tongue, thoroughly enjoying the sounds Naruto was making at her now extra-long tongues' ministrations.

"Ahhh that's great Anko-chan. Wow, your mouth is so warm! And tight!" he yelled between pleasurable groans as she started to take more of him into her mouth and began to pick up the pace a bit until he was soon hitting the back of her throat. Noticing there was still a _good _three inches left she began trying to force more of him down her throat until, after a few more minutes, her nose was firmly pressed against his crotch. After another few minutes he felt his release building up "Cumming Anko-chan!" Naruto managed to yell, seconds before he filled her mouth with rope after rope of his cum, all of which she gulped down happily enjoying the taste of her new favourite drink.

Seeing that he hadn't softened in the least, Anko decided it was time to move on to the main event and pushed him onto the bed before straddling his hips and slowly impaling herself on his cock, Even having broken her hymen during training years ago, this was not something she wanted to rush.

'Kami, he's so BIG. Must be around 7 or 8 inches and talk about thick!. And he's not even fully developed yet! ' She let out another moan of pleasure at the thought of what it would be like when he was fully developed.

"Ahhhh fuck, Anko-chan. You're so tight!" He cried out.

Holding on to her ass to help control the pace as she sped up, he began to thrust upwards each time she went back down. They both began thrusting with as much force, as fast as they could, thus speeding up their inevitable orgasm.

"Oh God yes! Naruto!" She cried out her orgasm while simultaneously digging her nails into his back and he filled her with his seed.

As they both collapsed down on top of the bed, still feeling the after effects of their orgasm. She soon realized that he was still hard inside her.

"Ready to go again, Anko-chan?" He asked.

"You know it, Whiskers-kun" she exclaimed.

**Lemon ends**

* * *

**Time skip 3 weeks later**

Naruto couldn't help but let out yet another sigh. 'Three weeks. THREE FUCKING WEEKS OF THESE GLORIFIED CHORES!' The only thing to decrease his annoyance was that after his first few times being sent to catch the demon cat he came up with a stroke of sheer genius and placed a locator seal on the 'Demon cat' Tora. Sadly, the Third wouldn't let him simply place a summoning seal on the little bastard as 'that wouldn't provide any practice in carrying out missions.' The only upside was that he now had a theory that he wanted to test after he had nearly crushed the cat on his last mission.

Cornering the cat in an alley he made his way towards it, waiting until the last possible second before diving forward at speeds that most chunin, never mind a freakin cat, would be hard pressed to match and as usual the thing dodged out of the way without even looking at him...right into the arms of a Naruto clone.

"Hold him still!" commanded Naruto, stalking forward to examine the cat more closely. After a few minutes his team arrived at the alley, noticing the grin on Narutos face Anko shared a smirk of her own.

"You were right weren't you?" She asked.

"Yup, even learned how to use the thing myself by examining the seal" He responded, grin still present on his face.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Demanded Sasuke.

"None of your business, Dobe." One surefire way to get Sasuke to shut up, at least in Narutos' experience, was to remind him of being last in the Academy. Then he would stay brooding for the next half hour. Minimum.

* * *

**Hokages' office**

Shortly after the team handed the cat over to the Daimyo's _very_ large wife, team 7 was called into the Hokages' office to give their report on the mission **(A/N: I'll save you that and just skip to as they were leaving)**

"Oh, one more thing Jiji. Who was it that thought resurrecting a cat would be a good idea?" asked Naruto.

"H-how did you know, Naruto-kun?" responded a rather startled third Hokage.

"Pretty simple really, there are jonin who remember chasing that cat and in all that time you'd expect there to be at least one 'accident' from someone who was sick of chasing the little bastard. Plus I kinda sorta crusheditlasttimeiwaschasingit." he muttered the last part so fast the third took a moment to process what he was saying.

The old man took a long puff of his pipe before responding "Very well I'll tell you, but keep it quiet from the rest of the genin, Kami knows how many reports we'd get of genin killing Tora. Simply put, it was an idea by the second Hokage as a way to train new genin, and keep the Daimyo's wife quiet after an over eager genin killed it. Basically it's a way for them to practice strategy since the cat will keep learning of new way of avoiding its pursuers and ways to recognize traps, so teams need to become increasingly subtle and original in their methods, and especially fast at doing it since their target will never get tired." He explained.

This seemed to satisfy the team and they left soon after, barely even noticing the third struggling to contain his laughter 'Sure that's what it resulted in, but sensei really just enjoyed watching genin get shown up by a cat.' he thought to himself, while rubbing one of the many scars he himself had received at the hands of that little demon.

* * *

**Okay chapter done, hope you liked the lemon since I've never really written anything like that before. Now that I think about it, almost all the creative writing I've ever done was for school… Would've been interesting to see their reactions if I handed THAT in…and now I wish I thought of that while I still did English, just to watch their reactions.**

**And sorry I keep taking a while to Update But I keep getting Stuck doing Ict coursework...let's just say it isn't fun.**

**And in regards to the scythe, most were disagreeing with me on its inherent awesomeness so I'll just give you a heads up on this. It's not just a scythe. It is going to have a few...Extra features.**

**-War out**


	4. Chapter 4

**I've decided it'll interrupt the story WAAAY too much if I pause to explain every single new ability that either Naruto or Anko use. So if one that hasn't been used before pops up and I don't really explain it. Just roll with it. I will still explain most of the major abilities/ weapons that show up in the story though. As a side note, they weren't completely honest when they gave a rundown of their skills to Kakashi (I'll explain which parts were lies as they show up...Don't worry, I won't give him random power ups at every single strong enemy. This was partly just to show how deeply ingrained his ability hiding habit was)**

**Other than that, I feel I should address the matter of capitalization a lot of reviewers have brought up. Once I had gotten sufficiently far into the story I was hoping to read over it as if I wasn't the one who wrote it...as a way to increase the sense of 'newness' about the story, I kept trying to read this in sections when proof reading so that way while still knowing about the events themselves. The proper order of events would be forgotten and I could still read it as a third party later on when the memory faded a bit... rest assured that dream has been crushed. Partially due to the fact that my memory is good enough to recite this story from chapter one.**

**Anyway, I have now went over each chapter as one whole while focusing entirely on capitalization so most of this should be fixed and hopefully it will no longer happen in later chapters.**

**Other than that, some are saying that it is an old cliché to have him on a team, doing missions way below his skill level.(note: I've already edited in the explanation for this into earlier chapters, so feel free to skip this… I was mostly planning on letting people draw their own conclusions as to why he stay hidden since I REALLY hate when other stories over-explain things but too many people were complaining about this, so skip to the first not bold paragraph if you don't want to read a long ass explanation that is really just common freaking sense.) If he were to skip the academy then it would raise a large amount of suspicion among other villages where they will attempt to look into his background. then all it takes is one 'genius' on their side to point out the obvious resemblance and all hell breaks loose, the truth comes out, potential war with the fourths' old enemies and assassination attempts towards Naruto, if that fails then they go for his loved one(s). So he needs time to become strong enough to protect them. Then there was his desire to become Hokage back when he was told to conceal his strength (he has a new dream now and it will be explained later) which is a lot easier (both his old and new dreams) if he works his way up and make a name for himself. Do I even need to explain why you can't make a name for yourself by STAYING in a COVERT organisation? As for the theory of simply revealing who his parents were to get acceptance from the village. Is Naruto really the type of person that would simply rely on who his family were to get recognition?**

**Lastly, I DID NOT FORGET ABOUT DANZO, ROOT is officially disbanded so while it is obvious that he did it they can't prove it since he can then claim it's a setup, false evidence, or any other bullshit excuse he can think of and the general populace will believe it. Also, he obviously can't make a move to take Naruto in the street since he knows that Naruto is hiding his strength and any fights will most likely be drawn out in public, where people will see the ROOT shinobi for themselves that will leave him open for public prosecution...with no believable way to deny it if the men are caught and/ or recognized as ROOT shinobi **

**OK, end of long ass rant. Sorry about all that, but felt I needed to explain this to some people before continuing on with the story. Now on to the story!**

* * *

Naruto stood in front of the trail of destruction that seemed to have cleared away everything ahead of him for well over 300 metres. But that is only to be expected of the **Fire Release: Majestic Destroyer Flame**…good thing he angled the attack upwards and he couldn't even begin to say how lucky he was that Anko told him to make a few dozen clones to reduce the damage with as many water jutsu as possible… Ahh, the extremes he went to in his attempt to master the technique, if only as a new thing to mock any Uchiha he finds by mastering the technique to the same extent as their legendary patriarch: Madara Uchiha. So far he could only do it with a single two handed seal, or multiple one handed seals. But he was _very _close.

"If you're done, then we should probably get going for the team training." announced Anko

"Yeah, let's get going then. But first...**Wood Release: Deep forest emergence!" **he yelled and immediately, trees began forming in the area, quickly growing to match all the other trees in the area leaving it looking no different than when they had arrived for their morning training. Though at this stage he could probably do this in his sleep, since he had more or less recreated the entire forest at one time or another.

Quickly dispelling the clones holding up the sensory barrier, the two made their way over to the teams' training ground, talking on the way.

"So, whatd'ya wanna do to mess with them this time?" asked Anko

Naruto quickly developed a fox-like grin that that threatened to split his face "Well I'm glad you asked my hebi-hime. (Snake princess)" he replied as he pulled her close into a searing kiss, before enacting his plan.

* * *

**At training ground seven**

Sasuke was leaning against the training post, looking like his usual brooding self and waiting for his two team mates and his sensei when his sensei still appeared in a puff of smoke, nose still in his porn uhhh...romance novel (one of the few that survived 'the tale of the lost jonin')

"Yo." he said to his only present student. Not at all surprised at the absence of his other students, they always waited till everyone else was here before making a grand entrance often setting off a prank that never failed to catch both of them off guard, occasionally they would simply walk over to them, or sometimes just... appear no smoke, no leaves, no nothing. Today it seemed, that he would not be disappointed as they both arrived. Perched on the back of a giant spider that was around 5 meters tall and seemed to be made of...CHAINS? And they were STILL KISSING. They only seemed to break apart when the chains retracted back into Narutos' body.

So Kakashi-sensei, what will you teaching us today?" Naruto asked, knowing full well it would be more tedious teamwork exercises and simply wanting to get on with it so they could get back to their REAL training...of course, they would have to wait until after Anko got her breath back from their make-out session before they could start. As it turned out, he was quite the natural. Well, that and the fact that he had been getting copious amounts of practice.

* * *

Naruto stood across from Sasuke in preparation for their spar. Well, it was really more of a nuisance that came about from him not leaving the area fast enough to avoid Sasuke's inevitable challenge to a fight and knowing that he would never get any peace if he refused, as previously proven from the multiple times Sasuke tried knocking down their door at 3:00 in the morning, keyword: tried, while his attempts to break through seals which could keep a Kage at bay were funny at first, at some point you just want to go to sleep (the seals automatically wake up all occupants of the house if there is an attempted break-in) and then there was the calming an irate Anko who simply wanted to go out there and castrate him for interrupting her post-coital spooning with Naruto. So he just sat there, in a relaxed stance, waiting for his opponents opening move.

Sasuke charged in, aiming an axe kick at Naruto's head, but was distracted by the split second that he saw a fully matured sharingan spinning in the blondes' eyes before flashing back to their natural cerulean blue, the image disturbed him so much that he immediately disengaged and backed off a good bit to 'assess the situation' (read: panic, followed by typical Uchiha elite bullshit monologue"

'How the hell does he have the sharingan?! He isn't an Uchiha! It must be a trick! I'm the only true Uchiha left in Konoha, an elite!' he ranted inside his head. Quickly shaking off his trepidation he launched forward again, this time going for a punch to the side and intending to follow up with a combo, but again hesitated when he saw the sharingan flash in Naruto's eyes. Except this time the blond took full advantage of this and grabbed his wrist, he then used Sasuke's shoulder as a pivot to jump over him while still holding his arm and then used that momentum to perform a full body slam which left an Uchiha sized crater in the ground. (Think will-e coyote after Road Runner tricks him into falling off a cliff, complete with the cartoon birds circling overhead.)

Moving away from his unconscious team mate and back to where Anko was watching.

"Well that was brutal...I liked it!" she exclaimed happily.

"Yeah, hopefully he won't be feeling up to another challenge for a while now after that." he replied

"But still, did you HAVE to show him the sharingan." she asked

"Yes." He replied simply, clearly struggling, and failing to hold back his laughter "That look on his face was priceless! What's more, he probably won't even remember it after he wakes up...or at the very least he'll think he imagined It." chuckled Naruto

"You're gonna keep doing this to mess with him aren't you?" she asked

"Every chance I get." confirmed Naruto"

Anko simply shrugged "Meh. Could be worth a few laughs... And if you do this right then you may actually make people think he finally snapped when he starts raving about you having the sharingan, not as if we need to hide it now anyway" she had a slight shudder thinking of what people would do if the fact that Naruto had the sharingan AND could regrow lost eyes was made public before he reached the level where he could fend them off. (They probably would have taken the eyes immediately and then considered the regeneration a bonus.) (1)

* * *

**The next day, Hokages' office**

"C'mon jiji, give us a C-rank mission already! These D-ranks are just a waste of time" yelled Naruto, in his defence though, he was one more D-rank away from snapping and killing the clients who post these glorified chores in the first place. And his teammates weren't much better.

"Show some respect to the Hokage you brat!" yelled some random 'demon hating' chunin who then went into some crappy speech about how they should feel 'honoured' to carry out what ever mission they were given before he was cut off by the Hokage, who was currently deliberating on whether the broody member of the team had gotten enough experience since he left the academy to handle himself on a real mission.

'If he gets into trouble, then his teammates should be able to help him out of it' He finally decided.

"Alright then, Naruto-kun I'll give you a C-rank. We've recently been contracted to clear out a bandit camp in the north-east edge of fire country, there are unconfirmed reports of several missing-nin there but their skill is unknown, but the camp itself is believed to be around 200 bandits. Kakashi, does your team accept the mission?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama we accept." Kakashi confirmed

"Good, be ready at the front gate to leave in 2 hours."

* * *

**Hidden ROOT Headquarters**

Deep under the hidden leaf, a certain old war hawk was plotting his way to power (although, if history is any indicator, he isn't very good at it)

'So, the Kyuubi Jinchuriki is finally leaving the village again. Hmmm... In a way it is lucky that ROOT was officially disbanded, that way he couldn't act on me without proof without fear of the political backlash. However I doubt even he will remain complacent if I continue to make obvious attempts to take him. However, that talent will be wasted if I cannot turn him into my weapon. I'll need to tread carefully, and move in such a way that this cannot be traced back to Me.' as he finished his thought processes he quickly drafted a letter and pointed to one of the many ROOT shinobi in the base.

"You, send this to Orochimaru at once" he commanded as he handed the man the letter.

* * *

**Otogakure Base**

And yet another creepy bastard who keeps plotting (and is equally unsuccessful in it) is found in a dark room, barely lit by the few torches hanging on the walls and reading the latest message from one of his allies in the leaf.

'Hmmmm. So the old fool Danzo is willing to give up the last Uchiha if I can capture and bring the Kyuubi brat to him. He must be skilled, for Danzo to be willing to give THAT much in exchange for making him into a new tool. Strange, all the reports I've gotten from the hidden leaf state that he was the dead-last of the graduating class right up until the graduation day, where the Uchiha boy came last and he was rookie of the year. Then again, he's been living with my former student for some time; most likely he hid his strength to avoid drawing more 'attention' from the council than necessary. Smart boy.' he thought to himself before setting about preparing for his quickly forming plan.

* * *

**Outside the bandit camp**

"Okay team, we'll split up and go to cover each of the c-"

"Ehhh...Kakashi sensei, mind if I try something first, I'm pretty sure it'll make this a lot easier" asked Naruto

"What could a dope like you possibly do that would be any help?" asked Sasuke in 'the tone of the emo king' **(A/N: I gotta ease up on the random Sasuke insults, seriously, I'm almost getting bored with them. AND I WRITE IT!)**

"Well aside from covering your mouth with duct tape, and possible pulling that stick out of your ass. He's a lot more use than you, duck butt." yelled Anko

"Hnn! as if that clan-less idiot orphan could beat me, an Uchiha elite!" refuted Sasuke

"I'm sorry, I forget. Which one of you was dead-last again?" taunted Anko, who quickly went on to ignore the broody bastard, who went on to start muttering about rigged tests.

"Not to mention that I do have a clan, they were just wiped out before you were born. Oh and one thing you should know, Sasuke. Your clan took one person to kill them all. Mine took the combined might of three of the great nations, and even then, it took their village 3 days to fall, with no reinforcements from Konoha AND they killed 10 of the attackers for every Uzumaki that died. So remind me again which one of us is from the better clan!" Naruto yelled, he was clearly angry by the end of his rant, but the Uchihas' arrogant attitude was REALLY starting to get on his nerves. It was time someone kicked him off the 'Uchiha pedestal' that the villagers had placed him on...And maybe add in a few curb stomps while he is on the ground for good measure.

The Uchiha just grunted and went back to ignoring them all, but inside, his mind was racing with this new information and trying to reaffirm his sense of 'Uchiha pride.'

**A/N: Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhh. I lied about getting bored insulting him, that'll never get old...but I will hold back a little, if only so I don't run out of stuff later...I'll most likely forget to hold back at all)**

* * *

**Near The Camp**

"So what was it you think will make this easier anyway?"

"Simple, you stand back, I deal with them" he replied with a smirk

"Naruto, I don't think that's a...very...good..." he trailed off as he saw that Naruto wasn't standing next to him anymore. It took him a few seconds for him to figure out where he was before seeing him on the edge of the cliffs overlooking the bandit camp, hands already locked in the tiger seal.

"**Fire style: Majestic Destroyer Flame!" **He yelled out sending a jet of fire almost four times the size of the ones that he fired off during training, almost the same size as the bandit camp itself.

Kakashi could do nothing but stare at what used to be a bandit camp but which now looked like one of the circles of hell. Even some of the trees _a few hundred meters _from the camp were burning after that and what's more, the fires seemed to be _spreading._

"Well shit...I'll fix it" he sighed and quickly went about gathering as much water as he could both from the air and a large underground water source He yelled out "**Water release: Great Waterfall"**

looking around after most of the fires had been put out he noticed one thing...the place was a wreck, and one downside to the high affinity to nature was that he hated to see the land completely devoid of life so, kissing yet_ another _secret goodbye he formed the snake seal and prepared to deal with the onslaught of questions from both his teacher and Sasuke, who had joined Kakashi at the edge of the cliff, gaping like a fish. Anko was torn between laughing at them, and enjoying the show.

'They'd probably be less annoying if I just revealed the Sharingan instead' He thought sardonically 'Ah well, not as if I wanted to keep it secret for much longer anyway'

**"Wood release: Deep forest emergence!" **he yelled once more. Anko, noticing both her teammate and sensei were slumped forward from their shock, dangerously close to falling over the edge, grabbed both of them by their shirts and threw them a good 10 metres back. They looked as if they were about to protest before going back to stare, transfixed by the sight of the previously barren clearing in the forest sprouted hundreds of small saplings, which soon grew to equal the size of all the other trees within the area...if slightly more vibrant.

After a few minutes of silence Kakashi spoke up "Naruto. You have a lot of explaining to do."

* * *

**(A/N: Before the explanation, please enjoy the insanity that I've dubbed 'The Thoughts of the Emo-King')**

'How could that Dobe (he's still too stubborn to stop calling him this most of the time, just not so often to his face anymore because of the constant blows to his pride when he is reminded that he came last) be so powerful, that power should belong to me! An Uchiha elite! I'll find out how to take this power for myself even if I have to beat it out of him! With this power, Itachi *Insert 5 minutes of nonsensical thought about killing his brother* Yes, when my sharingan awakens, I'll be able to take this power from him *Insert another ten minutes of him ranting about the all powerful sharingan, during which he misses Naruto explain his abilities...Irony!*'

* * *

**(A/N: On to the explanation Naruto gave to Kakashi, which Sasuke missed due to his brooding about figuring out how to obtain Naruto's power... was laughing for like 5 minutes when I wrote this)**

"The short explanation as to why I have wood release is..."he paused dramatically to his audience of one "Because, fuck you, that's how!" Kakashi face faulted. Anko laughed

"Naruto" he began dangerously

"Fine, fine. It happened when Kurama awakened my dormant DNA, something relating to the Uzumaki being blood-cousins to the Senju."

"Kurama?"

Naruto tapped his stomach "That's the foxes real name...don't tell anyone though, he doesn't really like too many people knowing it..." Naruto seemed to go pale for a moment "In fact, he may be pissed that I told you at all."

There was silence for a few moment for all but Naruto, who was currently shivering in terror at the dark chuckle emanating from within the seal. It appeared Kurama woke from his nap at the worst possible time.

"Training session?" asked Anko after he finished his internal conversation.

"Training session." he confirmed

The resulting wince was exceedingly obvious, indicating she knew full well how that 'training' would go, having been the one to pry him off the ceiling the first few times he came out of the session. Shortly after the fifth time she began receiving training from Kura in torture and interrogation methods, this choice of course being made based on the rather small logical leap that if his idea of training produced that kind of effect...

Naruto just nodded "fifteen hours..." he whispered forlornly, barley even noticing Anko wince. Kakashi just decided to ignore all of this and get back on topic.

"So, basically, he awakened a dormant bloodline within you?" asked Kakashi, looking down to Naruto, who was curled up in a ball with a rain cloud over his head.

He quickly snapped out of his depression and got back to his normal cheery self, something Kakashi noticed and couldn't help but draw parallels between his student, and the way people used to describe the Shodai Hokage 'Maybe it comes with the bloodline' he mused to himself before returning to listening to his students' explanation.

"Well. Yes and no... The wood release isn't really a bloodline in the traditional sense. The only thing people need is a high amount of life force and a bit of natural energy running through them constantly which normally comes from an affinity to nature. The reason why it was considered a bloodline was because almost no one outside the Senju clan, including sages had high enough life force to actually breathe life into something else."

'Well, guess they were right when people said he was always 'full of life' **(1)**I just figured they meant he never shut up...probably both true, especially given the way he acted to throw people off.' wondered Kakashi.

* * *

**A few hours later, while team seven is on their way back to Konoha**

"So who's the unlucky bastard that caused Orochimaru-sama to bring all five of us with him anyway?!" yelled Tayuya, by far the loudest member of the sound five, which was currently on its way, along with Orochimaru to try and capture the genin team.

"Ladies shouldn't talk li-" Jirobo was cut off as Tayuya buried her foot in his gut. (You'd think he'd learn by now.)

"Can it, fatso!" she yelled before resuming her position in the group a few dozen metres behind the snake sannin, shortly followed by Jirobo, who returned to his point at the back.

"It matters not." declared Kimimaro in his usual monotone voice "Our duty is simply to follow lord Orochimaru's orders and destroy all who oppose him."

* * *

**Omake-Bell Test**

"Sooooooo... Basically we need to get the bells before the alarm goes off?" drawled Naruto lazily

"Yes Naruto, but don't think that it will be that easy, I am a jonin after all." Kakashi eye smiled. Though it faltered when he saw what looked like a baseball bat form from the ground and rise up toward Naruto's waiting hand.

"Batter up!" yelled Anko exuberantly

Taking a few practice swings first before a blue glow formed around the bat, he picked up the timer and threw it up into the air and quickly sent it flying into the Hokage monument, shattering on impact with the seconds' face.

"Well, guess we pass. See ya sensei!" he yelled happily, before turning to Anko "Wanna go get some Ramen?"

"Sure!" she said happily

"Wait! This doesn't mean you passed!" shouted Kakashi

"What! Why!" Yelled Naruto in an overly childish voice

"Yeah! Sensei, you said that we fail the test if the timer goes off before we get the bells. Since it CAN'T go off now doesn't that mean we pass?" asked Anko in an equally childish tone of voice, adding in a _very _cute pout for good measure. Getting bored and impatient to get to the ramen stand, Naruto picked Anko up bridal style and disappeared in a earth, wind and fire **Body flicker.**

It was a few minutes of Kakashi staring dumbstruck at the spot where his two Students had just left before he thought to look down...and realized that the bells were now missing from his waist.

'How the hell did they get them?' he thought to himself before shrugging and setting out for the Hokages' office to update him on the team...but not before tying Sasuke to the post since he failed to get the bells, or help in any way. (Deciding the heat he would inevitably get from the council to be worth it after seeing the look on his face)

'Now, to think of a believable story for whatever the hell just happened...one that won't make me the laughing stock of the jonin lounge.' he thought, no matter how skilled there was no way that he would ever live it down if it was known that a genin did...whatever the hell they did to get the bells from him...though he'll definitely have the same problem popping up soon, when people notice the drawing of a kitty on his back. 'Why a kitty?' You might ask, well...so will they.

* * *

**And that's the end of that chapter...Congratulations to all who get this reference.**

**Was planning to have the confrontation done in this chapter but figured I should just release what I got so far since I'm most likely STILL gonna get caught up in even more stuff that will slow down writing, Sorry to all those who are being kept waiting.**

**As for the kitty thing at the end of the Omake...I still have no clue where that idea came from.**

**About for the lemons...I actually wasn't planning on writing any until after the time skip, then it occurred to me that Anko isn't really the type to wait... I won't do them that often but I will reference it occasionally. Plus the comedic potential of some situations they may get into is funny as hell.**

**(1) ****Felt I needed to explain how his regeneration works. Kuramas' chakra just gives the cells around the eye the energy and 'motivation' to actually replicate and eventually reform the eye. As stated before this would take about six hours with optimum condition...Think of it as Hasiramas' seal-less healing technique on low power constantly.**

**(2) Dear God that was a horrible pun. I'm actually a little amazed no one has made a comment on it yet. **

**So, what did ya like? What did you hate? REVIEW PLEASE!**

**Also, if anyone has any questions that aren't directly plot related, feel free to ask**

**-War out**


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry posting took so long, would have been up yesterday but kept getting the 503 gateway error message for anything account related

Right, final total for the Sasuke Good/ Jackass Poll is:

33-Jackass

16-Good

It was really Kinda obvious that it was going this way (Hence, the bashing in the last chapter, all setting up the scene for evil Sasuke...well, that and it was funny as hell.)

Speaking of stuff to add in, I forgot to put in an explanation of how he got funding for most of his and Anko's equipment other than the allowance from the Third. Let's just say he found out about his almost supernatural luck much sooner, and soon switched over from stealing to sneaking into several high stakes casinos whenever he was low on cash. (No the scythe wasn't custom made in a shinobi shop, he got the raw, Chakra-conductive materials and created it himself, including all the other...extra features. Yes, it took him a shit load of time, but he was able to use all his experience crafting mechanisms for traps/ pranks)

New poll is up for whether to have them as Proctors or contestants for the chunin exams...got a few good ideas for both and right now I'm leaning towards proctors... of course, 10 minutes ago it was contestants...I got ideas for both, really. So I want your opinions to help decide

**dbtiger63: While I agree that mostly bloodlines would be celebrated, there isn't a single shinobi village that wouldn't harvest the crap out of an infinite sharingan supply no matter who it was and as I said before- they fucking hate him- no two ways about it, that's why he waited till he was strong enough, most of the ability hiding now is a combination of paranoia and old habits, as for the FTG neither he nor Anko are ANYWHERE near the level of skill that the fourth had with it, it takes them time to focus on the markers and they can't chain jumps together properly yet due to several factors which they have yet to overcome. Also, I'm planning a bit of a running joke relating to Kakashi knowing his powers origins... and yes, I do realise I went well off on a tangent with this response, but hopefully I Covered most of your questions with this.**

Now, on to the story!

* * *

**With team Kakashi, on the way back to leaf**

Naruto repressed yet _another _sigh as he and his team tree hopped their way back to Konoha. He was, naturally, bringing up the rear alongside Anko, but that wasn't the problem. What was the problem? You might ask. Well, the problem was the glances his teammates were trying and, rather unsuccessfully trying to conceal. Kakashi: Respect. Sasuke: Glaring. You could practically _see _the thought bubble above his head screaming 'YOUR POWER WILL BE MINE!' That thought alone brought Naruto to repressing another sigh. He couldn't help but wonder what their reactions would be when they found out about both the Sharingan and the fact that he wasn't completely honest with his self-evaluation of his skills. He didn't mention that he _could _do Genjutsu, however he needed to rely on the sharingan to do it (The reason for his annoyance during the listing of his skills. He HATED relying on the Sharingan for anything, while he was fine with using it in a tough fight or one where he needed to win as fast as possible, he wanted to do as much as possible on his own.) While it was true that he was at jonin level taijutsu without the resistance seals, that didn't say anything about chakra enhancement. Lastly, While it was true that he had the chakra control of an average chunin, that was only because of his reserves growing so fast that he needed to practice constantly to keep it under control and if he devoted any more time to it, then all of his training in other areas would suffer. So he simply kept it as it was, so he could keep at training all of his other areas and hopefully it would balance out when he was older.

His thoughts on the matter were cut off as a large snake crashed through the foliage in front of them, clearly intent on eating at least one of them before they could react.

Stupid snake.

It quickly found itself impaled on a rather large tree root, traveling straight up into its' abdomen, through the lower jaw and erupting from the top of the head in a shower of blood and brain matter. However, that momentary break in their line of sight from their team, compounded with the fact that they were currently in mid-air, having jumped high to avoid the snakes fangs resulted in them being sent flying several hundred metres away from their teammates, courtesy of a severely overpowered great breakthrough from a certain snake sannin (not that they were aware of who it was yet)

"So you're the trash Orochimaru-sama ordered us to capture! It's just not your day is it? Now you gotta face the sound five! You might as well give up now." yelled the resident redheaded loudmouth of the group. She was putting on her usual arrogant attitude, but the way all the members of the sound five were in defensive formation, and all, save for Kimimaro, were already in their level 1 forms. Evidently the snake bastard warned them to take the pair in front of them seriously. They weren't serious enough.

In a flash, Naruto was behind one of the sound four, the currently nameless six armed one, scythe unsealed from his right forearm (1) and currently dripping blood as he shifted it back to rest on his shoulder and reappeared beside Anko in a flash of light, courtesy of the Hiraishin marker they had tagged to each other. A split second later the man's teammates were staring at the now bisected corpse of their teammate, split from the crook of his neck on his left, to just below the rib cage on his right side.

"He-he just killed Kidomaru!" yelled the one with two heads and a fetish for green lipstick, staring at the now not-so-nameless-but-kinda-pointless-at-this-point-seeing-as-he's-dead (Bit wordy but it'll catch on. Right? Right?) Body that used to be his teammate. Meanwhile, Naruto was ignoring their shocked reactions in favour of planning his next move.

'Got to go in fast again while they're distracted, hopefully I'll be able to get another one by surprise. If they're here for us, then Orochimaru himself may be after Sasuke.'

"Anko-chan, can you go help out the others while I deal with these guys?" he asked quietly, careful not to speak loud enough to be over heard by the still bickering and newly renamed sound four.

"Right, just finish up here fast and be careful. I got a bad feeling about this."

"You're the one that needs to be careful, the one facing our teammates is Orochimaru after all, just stick to our plan and I should be there in time to help, after I deal with these fools." responded Naruto

What he didn't count on was the white haired one not getting caught up in the shock at seeing one of their number fall, and so being prepared to intercept Naruto's initial lunge with one of his reinforced bone swords.

(2)"Now THAT is creepy...I'd bet dogs love you." quipped Naruto, while simultaneously trying to overpower the bone-user, quickly realizing that was just not going to happen, and that the bones seemed to be heavily reinforced. As proven by the whole not being cut like tissue paper by the scythe. Giving up on their brief power struggle, he whipped the handle of the scythe around the bone user's guard and into his abdomen...and was obviously surprised when instead of the expected sound of it smacking into soft, exposed muscle it was more of a dull thud that one would usually associate with heavy duty wood, metal covered in a thin layer of padding or, or...or bone.

"Now THAT is just fucking weird. Who the hell up and decides 'y'know what would be a good idea? Let's use my bones for weapons!' Dip-shit. Even if they do grow back, that is just RETARDED!" yelled an increasingly irate Naruto

The Kaguya may have been more angry than he ever thought possible. You could SEE the slight twitching of his eyebrow, and was that a frown sneaking through his emotionless facade? Nope! But he was pretty angry, as proven by the several dozen bone spikes now on a direct course for Narutos' most...tender area.

'Right. No more taunting enemies when they can create sharp, pointy objects at will...well maybe a little...a lot...' he thought to himself, cringing a little at the thought of what would have happened if he didn't release the resistance seals before leaving for this mission. On the up side, his little dialog had provided enough of a distraction for Anko to leave unobstructed by the rest of the sound four, who seemed to be caught in open mouthed shock at the blonde's casual dismissal of the power of the dead bone pulse bloodline.

Quickly recovering and returning to their standard battle formation (minus one very obvious part) and went into their stage 2 forms (Mista bones went into stage 1)

'Not a bad strategy they got there, though it's clear they aren't used to working together. The loudmouth- cast a wide area genjutsu with her flute, the fatass- used an earth technique to break apart the terrain- obviously trying to reduce my speed and manoeuvrability, Bone Bastard- well, made more bone weapons and lastly the two headed cross dresser- split in two? Guess I gotta start calling them the sound five again...this is just fucking confusing.' Naruto thought to himself

Activating his sharingan (While hiding it under a genjutsu of his own, he didn't need the pedophile with an eye fetish coming after HIM!) to help him finish them off faster so he could then go to help Anko deal with the snake bastard. He formed a single handed seal before releasing a large amount of chakra, shattering the illusion like glass.

The noisy one just looked on in shock at the one capable of breaking one of her illusions with what looked like no effort at all, clearly becoming more and more afraid of the blonde standing before them, but when someone kills a member of your team before any of them could move a muscle- even if they were caught off guard by his speed, a little (or a LOT) of fear is to be expected.

"Idiot. Let me show you a REAL illusion. **The Trickster Fox"** He whispered, barely audible to the group standing before him. Which made it all the more confusing when Tayuya started screaming incoherently.

"N-no! Stay back! Leave me alone!" she yelled into what was seemingly empty space to the left side of the group.

They were left even more confused when she jumped away faster than they had ever seen her move, landing a good fifty feet from the group. The rest of the team had to dodge out of the way when her demonic mask puppets pounced on their locations, seemingly set on killing off her own team right up until Naruto appeared behind her...and drove a senbon needle straight into the back of her neck, piercing a nerve cluster, putting her into a near-death state and sealing her into a stasis scroll before turning to deal with the rest of her team.

(What Tayuya saw in the genjutsu)

Tayuya could only stare at what USED to be her teammates but were now a group of headless corpses, all of the heads now being lined up at Narutos' feet a few dozen metres to her left. she seemed to regain her voice once she saw the blonde steadily approaching, scythe in hand, twirling it in an ever faster arc at his side before stopping with an audible snap. It was then Tayuya realized that he was now right in front of her, and that snap had been when he'd stopped the scythe inches in front of her face. With a yelp/scream, she jumped back yet again...towards the waiting Naruto. Which brings us back to the present.

The sound...3...4 were staring slack jawed (mostly- Kimimaro just looked the same as always) at the person who so far, had killed two of them without even breaking a sweat and was now. He was staring at them, all the light hearted humour gone. The glare that he was sending them made them well aware that...something had him PISSED.

Now, standing before them was someone with eyes that seemed to hold intelligence and power that would be less out of place on an old scholar or a monk who had spent their whole lives seeking knowledge. They remained staring when he slammed the butt of his scythe into the ground, embedding it to free up his other hand and formed the snake seal, even with their battle instincts screaming at them to move, all of the people remaining in the clearing stood stock still right up until they heard four words that made their blood run cold:

"**Wood Release: Cutting Sprigs." **Naruto muttered, in that newly-acquired monotone voice.

'Rat bastards, Orochimaru thinks he can corrupt an Uzumaki like that and get away with it? I'll. Kill. Them. All.' he thought to himself. The worst thing about it was that whatever kind of brain washing she had undergone seemed to have almost completely erased all chance of her EVER going back to the way she was before. Then again...Naruto always was good with the long odds, and he was too fucking stubborn to fail.

Kimimaro was the only one who managed to avoid it; the others were now either dead or on their way out. Leaving Naruto just one annoying bone user to deal with. And deal with it he did. Kimimaro found himself under yet another assault while still airborne and very much out of control, thanks to one of the spikes throwing him off while he was still mid-jump. Luckily, it seemed the wood couldn't pierce through his bone armour, if the splintered mess below was any indication.

"Give up." The bone user said in his usual monotone "Your attacks have no effect on me."

"Is that so?" asked Naruto, in that same disinterested tone. It was then that he noticed the series of chips running along the bones he had been using to defend with, along with the slightly brighter blue glow emanating from the blade of Narutos' scythe. Chakra enhancement at its' finest, and of course the hint of Kuramas' chakra being mixed in helped. Quickly reforming his bone swords, as well as enhancing them as much as possible, he finally took a more aggressive role in this fight. Charging in to a flurry of strikes, each aiming at every conceivable opening he could spot on his blonde opponent, but all were seemingly either deflected or hitting non vital spots, and even that was mostly healing over the course of the fight. Of course, his opponent had only managed to land one hit, even if that hit had proven that he could just as easily cut through the bone armour as he could the bone swords. Needless to say the dance of the larch was out, giving the blond a clear shot the rest of his body would prove suicidal- if that steady increase in brightness was any indication. And the slow shift to red it was undergoing _definitely _a bad sign. Of course, there was an upside to this fight dragging out so long, he was starting to pick up on the blondes' general rhythm and timing for his attacks and it looked like he was doing it faster than Naruto. Soon he would have the timing down well enough to counter attack and... And...

He stared down shock at the horizontal slash across his abdomen. He was sure the scythe didn't have that much reach and he had stepped well clear of it. The cut was shallow, but he _knew _he was at least two feet away from the blade, even with chakra enhancement, it just didn't make sense!

That's when he saw it.

The scythes' blade had shifted mid-swing, now more closely resembling a pole blade. (3) Though he could only take momentary notice of this as that pole blade was now on a straight path to his eyes. Ducking down fast enough to only receive a brand new haircut he stabbed up wards with a set of newly grown bone spikes...only to notice the red/ blue glow had now shifted to a completely dark red tendrils coiled around the blade as it moved to intercept the spikes- and slashed a deep gash running the full length from the wrist, tapering off at the shoulder.

'This has gone on long enough. I have to use stage two. If I don't, I may die,' Kimimaro thought to himself. The thin layer of bone he had formed to stop any blood loss would help him keep fighting but it was clear that he couldn't dodge _all _of the blonde's attacks and it was clear that he wouldn't be able to block anything with his bones current level of hardness. Hopefully stage two would give him that little bit extra to help defend against the blondes strikes

Naruto stared on in mild surprise, were he not in total emotional shutdown at the moment he'd probably be mocking his opponent for looking so stupid, but- being as pissed as he was, he simply waited for the incoming charge before sidestepping and making a stab for his opponents neck. Sadly, while he did note that his opponent seemed to have lost a great deal of manoeuvrability in this form, there was only a thin line marking where the blade had made contact along with a small trickle of blood. Spinning around he noticed the strange drill-like appendage forming on the bone users' right arm...that was now a few feet away from his face and closing the distance fast.

Ducking down out of the way of the incoming death drill, he used the chakra activated mechanism inside the scythe to catapult the blade into nearby tree, trailing a thin (but VERY durable) (4) cable after it. Now, with the cable anchored at one end he wove in and around the bone user as fast as possible, coiling the wire around him and trapping him in a kneeling position, with his arms spread wide to either side. Slamming his hands onto Kimimaros' back (Not a second too soon, if the ominous creaking of the chakra-conductive cable was any indication) he watched with fascination as the curse mark receded and the previously struggling Kimimaro went deathly still.

**"Chakra seal. Paralysis seal." **he intoned

For a moment he was tempted to simply try tightening the cable until it sliced the bone user into pieces, but thinking the matter through, he realized it was likely that his bones were most likely _still _several dozen times denser than a regular humans. Pulling out a blank sealing tag, he quickly formed the array for one of his favourite pieces of gravity altering fuinjutsu. Placing this on his back (in between the two other seals) and uncoiling the cable holding him in place, he jumped away a few dozen metres before activating it. He watched the bone user get compressed to the size of an atom before drawing in all matter within a fifteen metre radius to re-stabilize the miniature black-hole that was created.

Ripping apart the fabric of space and time never failed to be interesting. (5) Even if it did suck up chakra like a sponge...

Focusing his mind to the Hiraishin beacon he had placed on Anko, he prepared to teleport to her location and help her castrate the pedo...and for some reason he couldn't find it. Heavily panicking now, he raced to where he could sense her chakra, and noticed a few key things

Sasuke was unconscious.

Kakashi was wounded.

Anko was barely alive.

Practically breaking the sound barrier in his rush to cover the three hundred metre divide. He sailed through the air as he broke through the tree line and into the clearing where Anko, Kakashi and Sasuke had been facing off against the pale nuke-nin, Sasuke and Kakashi were lying some distance away, Sasuke seemed to have had the cursed seal placed on him, while Kakashi seemed to have succumbed to both his wounds and chakra exhaustion. Orochimaru was (rather shakily) approaching the prone form of Anko, Kusanagi in hand and, knowing the snake sannin, the purple liquid dripping off the blade would be a poison even the legendary medic, Tsunade would be unable to cure. When he saw the blade come down, inches from her head. In that moment, time seemed to stop for Naruto

**Flashback**

"Say, why is it that people don't like you anyway?" a 6 year old Anko asked

"I mean, there are even some people who started glaring at me just cuz I'm walking with you."

Naruto hung his head "It's because they think I'm a monster."

Anko looked on at the slightly depressed blonde with a look of puzzlement "Why would they think that?"

Naruto only sank further into depression "Because when the nine tailed fox destroyed most of the village the fourth needed to seal it into a child to save everyone. He chose me."

"Ah." she said with a look of realization "They're idiots."

He looked up in confusion "What do you mean?"

"Anyone with a halfway decent knowledge of seals would realize that you're currently the only thing keeping the village safe from being destroyed." she said with a tone of finality

He then went on to explain how Kurama was being controlled, and was amazed to find she was accepting this right away. Even the third needed a good 3 hours explaining before he accepted it. But Anko was different; she trusted in him completely and simply accepted it as fact. Even Kurama was surprised when she asked to meet him so she could get to know him too.

* * *

"Get back here Naruto! Anko!" yelled several dozen of the jonin currently giving chase to the purple and orange blurs, currently tearing a path of destruction through the Konoha marketplace.

Both of them were having trouble avoiding getting caught, mostly due to laughing too hard when they caught sight of their pursuers. Pink was NOT a good colour for shinobi.

In an unexpectedly lucky break, their laughing fit caused them to fall into an abandoned alleyway, somehow losing their pursuers in the process. Both were completely unaware of the position they had landed in, with Naruto on top of Anko...with his head resting on her breasts. Although as soon as his laughing fit subsided, he was quick to snuggle deeper into the soft mounds, and deal with her attempts to kill him later. Surprisingly, the kunai at his throat never came. What happened instead was her encircling her arms over his chest and pulling him closer into her.

They remained like that until long after their pursuers gave up the search and went home.

* * *

**End Flashbacks**

'I don't know when I decided'

With him unable to intercept anywhere near fast enough from his position in the air he did the only thing he could think of.

He substituted her with himself.

'That I would be willing to die for you'

In the instant before the blade made contact time seemed to slow down beyond that of even the Sharingan would allow. In that instant, he came to terms with his death. No one can survive the brain being destroyed, and even if he could, the poison on the blade would most likely slow his regeneration to a crawl. All he could do with his last thought was hope that Anko could recover enough in that small amount of time to focus on one of her own Hiraishin markers and get to safety.

'It isn't really the sort of thing you can decide'

That hope left him with a smile on his face, even as the blade sank into his skull.

'I guess this is the end, Anko-chan.'

* * *

Chapter done! Sorry about the wait...and the cliff-hanger...and the flashbacks at the end. Not very good at writing emotional/sad (pretty sure I said this before) In fact I didn't even finish writing them before writing this apology for them (yes, I'm that sure I didn't do them well)

(1) didn't want to break up the flow too much by leaving this in the middle of the fight- the scythe has a straight handle, it's double edged with the outer edge being serrated, while the handle is completely black, along with the outer edge of the blade, the inside edge gives off a faint, blue glow even when there is no chakra running through it, but this is intensified when he does use chakra enhancement (red shift is for when he uses Kuramas' chakra for the enhancement). Still looking for a suitably cool image to put on the profile.

As for the style that he uses with the scythe- the Uzumaki in this story had created a style for almost any weapon available as well as the base hand to hand style that was designed to be adapted to suit the user's needs and specialties. So when I say his hand to hand relies on speed, hitting vital spots etc. that's what he adapted most of the moves to do. The way he adapted the staff techniques to suit a scythe was just an extreme version of what ALL Uzumaki did when learning the techniques- which is part of the reason why people called them unpredictable. Cuz you had next to no chance of fighting one with the same style twice. (Should probably have put this in the chapter it was mentioned but I seem to keep coming up with new ideas...

(2) I'm going to have Naruto use insults, random statements and whatever else I can think of to mess with and otherwise distract his enemies. Mostly just to stick to the old theory of an angry enemy making mistakes that can be capitalized on...well, that and it's REALLY funny.

(3) for those who don't know a pole blade is basically like white beards' weapon from one piece, or Guan Yu from dynasty warriors except in this case the blade curves inwards with a serrated edge on the outside...no this isn't the only surprise...and this is much more significant than it seems at first glance, aside from catching people off guard, using a pole blade can have a completely different style that a scythe that will throw off opponents, mostly the extended reach and jabs as well as the potential for it to shift back during a weapons grapple, power struggle i.e. bad guy gets brained.

(4) it's easier to just think of a thinner version of the cable that Sasori used, except he still can't control it to the same degree i.e. adjustments to movement, not movement on its own, he still can't lift the blade on the end with just hi chakra but moving the cable is easy enough

(5) I know it seems that I've underplayed Kimimaros' strength a LOT but his techniques are just sooooooo badly suited to fighting someone with Narutos' abilities...hopefully the need to create a black hole just to finish him off will be enough to show that I DO think that he's a badass...he just had a really bad match up.

**The Trickster Fox **\- Genjutsu- while the technique itself is almost completely undetectable, recreating exactly what the victim sees in the instant is was cast, it can be broken with almost no effort IF the person knows it is being used on them. after being cast the user can manipulate everything inside the technique, however, certain aspects of the world are more dull to people under the effects: taste, pain and to a certain degree smell are all things that are slightly off when under the effects of the technique in a battle setting most people will consider this to be either a side effect of adrenaline or any other number of things that means they usually do not notice any of the signs. The noticeable differences can be reduced/removed with practice and Naruto, being the creator of the technique, has it down to the point it isn't even funny (or at least get it so close that very few people without heightened senses, or weren't actively looking for a difference would notice... him testing it on shadow clones, and having heightened senses of his own helped a good bit refining it). The only thing that he can't properly mimic is pain (unless something happened outside the illusion to mimic the expected effects).

Almost forgot to say this- as to why he explained how he got the wood release...I mostly wanted to put my idea for its origins out there as a precursor to something for later as of right now, his response to all questions relating to his abilities will be "Because fuck you, that's how" (Partly taken from a fic called Reaching for a dream, but prob would have used it anyway, since it's going to save time and become comedy gold once I reach the council section...and I REALLY hate re reading the same explanation dozens of times in other fics. So if I go and explain something multiple times, call me on it so I either remove that section from the chapter it's in or just don't do it again other than when I needed to repeat the Kurama explanation to Kakashi...same as with his abilities, if anyone else asks he will just tell them to fuck off (this will also apply to Jiraiya)

It has to be said...I had a LOT of fun coming up with random nicknames for the sound...?... (They keep fucking changing their number) here's a not so short list of all the ones I thought of for Kimimaro (most of which were already used (and aren't really that funny) but since so many were taken from different things it's easier just to put in where I got them here (Some I just made up)

Mista bones (Song- though I didn't know till I looked it up...still a good song)  
Bone bastard  
Oh ye white haired weirdo  
Dogs best friend  
Mista bone-bastic tele-fantastic (altered lyrics from a song)  
Gai and lees' polar opposite  
Mister bones (comic book character)  
Skulduggery unpleasant (Skulduggery Pleasant - slight change to the name my favourite skeleton detective...awesome book series by the way)  
He who cosplays as a dinosaur (for his stage two form...but Naruto gets serious at that stage so it didn't show up in the story)

Now for the 2 and a half hour ICT homework that I've been putting off doing to finish this chapter...

Edit: because people are getting confused by this a bit, her health isn't what affects his ability to sense the marker. It's to do with another seal interfering with it and I didn't get to that seal yet so I'll just leave the explanation for what that seal does later...sorry for the suspense relating to it but I still want to keep it a surprise.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: See profile if you actually want to read it, since I keep forgetting to put it into individual chapters.

Review responses:

**godlikenaruto95**

_You're a dick_

Yes, yes I am.

Note: since this was posted on chapter 5 I assumed it was about the long ass wait time for this next chapter. If there's some other way I'm being a dick... well... good for me... I guess... Life goals achieved. Yay... Now what?

**marquis shax**

_While the attacks never happened in Canon I really don't mind them in these stories as it adds a little more depth to the story plus it's fanfiction so if you wanted you could make Naruto Kami reincarnated lol. The one thing I completely HATE is the attacks you have him miraculously recover from. Seriously next thing you're gonna do is say that he had his head cut off and it grew back. Saying stupid shit like "he was stabbed through the heart, had his eyes gouged out, and had his neck broken but was perfectly fine minutes later" that makes it seem like he really is the Kyuubi and if you're gonna go that far with his healing ability you might as well just give him fox ears and a tail._

I never once said they regrew in a few minutes. I said, or at least implied that they left him lying in a pool of his own blood multiple times convinced that he was dead and each time his body would slowly patch back together over the course of several hours while the kyuubis' chakra kept his body functioning,. Likewise I tried to establish without saying outright that beheading/ complete destruction of the brain will in fact kill him.

Ah, the last part of your review. Yes, this healing reinforced the belief that he was the Kyuubi and I plan to go back to the first chapter to make that more clear. Thanks for reminding me about that by the way.

Also, since I get the feeling there will be someone to ask. Yes, he has had his throat slashed in the past but villagers don't exactly have the proper tools for a full beheading, but if anyone reading has any reasonably in-depth knowledge of anatomy they will know it's pretty fucking hard to completely severe a head. If you need proof I believe there was an execution which took 47 swings of a full sized executioners axe before the head was full severed, feel free to look the story up. How hard do you think it would be for a bunch of civilians using kitchen knives and improvised broken bottles?

**Many, MANY Reviewers:**

I'll try to hold off on putting author notes mid chap.

Incidentally, I may or may not have gotten bored with the tense atmosphere that I built up in the last chapter...

**LETS GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD**

* * *

**Shortly before Narutos arrival in the clearing**

Anko quickly took stock of the situation before her, Sasuke seemed to be stuck in a semi-catatonic state from facing snake face (if the breaking out in a cold sweat and shaking like he was having a mild seizure was any indication) Kakashi already looked drained from the fight, but seemed to only have a few minor injuries so far...granted, her idea of minor may have been skewed _slightly _by living with a guy who considers not breaking bones regularly during his training as 'slacking off'. Kakashi was still able to fight...probably.

*THUD*

Never mind.

'I _really _need to start measuring damage based on what a _normal _human could take...' Anko thought to herself, before landing beside the still pretty out of it Sasuke.

For a second she considered just grabbing both of them and using the Hiraishin to get back to Konoha (in retrospect she wasn't really sure why they decided to tree hop back in the first place) but those thoughts were quickly crushed in the face of an opportunity to kill the snake bastard. Knowing him like she did, it was only a matter of time before he went for the bait and she could put Naruto's plan into action, that bait being what he would see as the chance of an easy win.

Looking Sasuke over she decided he wouldn't be moving for a while, and even if he was, he wouldn't really help much against one of the freaking sannin and given his hatred of team work, would actually be more use if he was fighting for Snake face.

Orochimaru on the other hand, was getting very confused, he was expecting his former student to snap and rush him the second she made eye contact, but instead she seemed to be casually assessing the situation. Maybe a little prodding would get her riled up enough for quick disposal, he was only here for Sasuke after all.

"Ahh Anko-chan, it's good to see you after so long. Are you doing well? You seemed a little ill the last time I saw you, how is that cursed seal by the way?" he said in that tone of voice which seemed to constantly conjure up the images and feeling of a snake slithering over your skin.

'Strange.' he noted, a little dubiously. A full ten seconds later and she had given no sign that she had even heard him. So figuring she must have been too focused on her teammate to hear him, he repeated himself

"I said, it's good to see you a-"

"Shut the fuck up, I heard you the first time." she snapped back, still not even looking up at him she would have also said 'You're just not worth the breath it would take to form a response' but then there is the whole problem of that being more wasted breath. The only reason she even responded in the first place was because of how annoying his voice was and she would need him at least a little flustered if only so he wouldn't notice the effects of the plan until it was too late.

"Ohh Testy, are w-"

"Do you not get the meaning of the words shut up?" she cut him off yet again.

"M-"

"Curl up and die."

"Y-"

"Can it!"

"Will you ju-"

"Shut yer Goddamn trap!"

"Wh-"

"Fuck off!"

"Just let me-"

"DIE!"

"RRRRRWWWWWAAAAAAAHHHHHH"

Whatever Anko planned on saying next was cut off, thanks to the snake's mad charge. Surprisingly, he wasn't charging at _her _like she had been expecting, rather the still paralyzed-with-fear Sasuke. It was only when she saw him form the seal for the dreaded hickey of death (patent pending) that she began to panic... and then remembered that Naruto could remove cursed seals faster than a great fireball technique could light a match.

'Still, that's probably gonna hurt like a bitch...Sucks to be him.' she resolved internally, already looking forward to the look on snake-bastards face when he found out Naruto could remove the seal as easily as he could down 10 extra-large bowls of ramen, failing that she could do it almost as fast, it just took a lot more concentration for her.

'Screw it! I'll just incapacitate Sasuke, then deal wit-' His thoughts were interrupted by a large earth spike, piercing straight through his abdomen and pinning him in place. That is, if he was a normal human. As it was he simply lashed out with his extendable neck and bit down on Sasuke's collar bone, who had just barely managed to get himself moving not a few seconds ago by stabbing himself in the leg- really, you'd think he'd know better than to stab himself somewhere that would limit his mobility. Not that he could have escaped either way but still. That was just stupid.

"Well th-" He began, as he regurgitated himself before getting cut off yet again by Anko

"Do you seriously STILL not get the meaning of shut the fuck up!?" yelled Anko

"Insole-"

"Bastard."

Again Orochimaru found himself seeing red. Reaching out for the portion of his chakra that allowed him to remotely activate the cursed seal he pushed a little, expecting her to wince. Nothing.

Confused, he pushed a little more, anticipating her to lose her control and at the very least fall to the ground and clutch her neck. Nothing.

Frustrated, he put all of his will behind it, Enough that most would be rendered unconscious, or at the very least in a writhing ball of agony. This time he did see something, however instead of being in pain, she seemed to be giving a grin that would put the Cheshire cat to shame. What's more, there seemed to be trails of thin, barely visible sealing script running the full length of her body.

'This can't be good.' was all he had time to think before she charged.

While her speed was nothing to scoff at, he could easily have avoided it, if he wasn't paralyzed.

'What the fuck is going on?!' were the thoughts of a certain snake sannin as he sailed through the air and crash landed against the trunk of a nearby his thought processes were steadily becoming more and more clouded as Anko buried what seemed to be an infinite supply of elongated kunai into his shoulders, arms, legs and pretty much every appendage there was space to stab a kunai into. Within a few seconds he looked not unlike an academy students practice dummy and was well and truly stuck to the tree.

Under normal circumstances this would be fairly minor for him, he'd simply shed his skin and would _normally _be free of both the kunai and whatever was causing the paralysis. If not for the fact that he could no longer access his chakra. And then there was the pain, centred on his left shoulder was an intense burning sensation, steadily growing and within a few more seconds began to eclipse the pain of becoming an over-sized pincushion. Soon, his vision began to fade, his breathing slowed to the point it was almost non existent, the only thing that didn't fade was the pain, burning like the black fires of Amaterasu just under his skin and spreading steadily, coursing through his veins like liquid death.

'No. NO! I can't die here! I am Orochimaru the immortal! I...am...beyond...de...'

Interesting thing about the cursed seal of heaven that Orochimaru places on most people he takes an interest in. After it's placed it isn't simply self-sustaining. No. What actually happens is a permanent link forms between the person who placed it and the recipient, this keeps a constant transfer of chakra to the seal in order to maintain the seal. Now most of the time this link is too weak for either party to consciously detect, unless in close proximity to one another. To remotely activate the seal, like Orochimaru attempted to do with Anko vastly increases the strength of this connection and allows him to exert, to a certain degree, his own will over that person. Unfortunately for him, this strengthened link.

Their plan was fool proof, Except for one thing. The one thing that neither could have predicted and it was doubtful that even the snake sannin knew of this feature of the cursed seals which severed the users tie to ALL cursed seals, essentially making them inert in the event of the user coming under attack via the link from the cursed seal. Whether this was planned, his final act in the throes of desperation or just dumb fucking luck they would never know.

Unfortunately for Anko, the seal they had come up with also blocked her ability to sense the link, so the only indication she had of it being broken was.

"AHHHhhh!"

-The snake springing from his mouth and sinking its poisonous fangs into her arm.

'Okay. Don't panic Anko, you totally got this, poison will be out of my system in a few minutes, I mean that's what all those_ really _bad tasting immunity boosters were for, isn't it? Yeah I totally got this! He's gotta be pretty drained after that so I should be able to take him... or at least hold out till Naruto gets here, then we can both take him down together' she thought to herself.

* * *

Anko stared up at the sky, so drained she was struggling to keep her eyes open 'I totally did NOT have this.' She mused, mentally kicking herself for letting it get to the stage where she was too drained to even lock on to one of her markers, let alone teleport to it.

'So this is how I die then? Well...Shit. Wait, I should probably be thinking positive...hmmm. Well, there's the several hundred shades of pain and death the legendary kiddie toucher will be going through when Naruto takes him down. Gotta remember to tape that when I'm in the afterlife, even if it will most likely take a few years for him to be strong enough to do it.'

Orochimaru was perturbed, no that wasn't quite the right word. Puzzled? Quizzical? He was fucking confused. Yes that was it. In all his lifetime he had seen people spit at him in defiance, try to flee, beg for their lives and almost any other reaction you could think of, which is why the not so faintly sadistic smile on her face was so strange, in all of his past experiences, he was the one whose face that smile would often adorn, normally when observing the effects of some of his more painful experiments, or when he was planning to test out some new torture methods on one of the begging, pleading and occasionally rebellious masses he had just defeated in battle.

Given the last 'surprise' his student had given him he was more than a little cautious with his approach, until he eventually realized there were no hidden dangers- which mostly just added to his confusion.

Looking over to Orochimaru, she dimly noted how his sword was poised to bury itself into her skull- and then it wasn't. Instead, it was already traveling through the skull of _her_ Naruto. She had about a split second of registering that Naruto must have used a replacement technique with her before she saw Naruto solidly plant his boot into the snake sannin face.

In that moment, Naruto, Anko and Orochimaru All had the same thought.

'What the HELL?'

'What the HELL?

''What the HELL?'

'Kurama, any idea what just happened? I'm sure that sword just went straight through my skull, but I didn't feel a thing, and there are no marks. What the hell just happened?'

**'Not a clue, Kit. Just for the love of Kami don't risk another shot like that at least until till we figure out what you did and how to recreate it.'**

It was at this moment that Orochimarus curiosity was piqued by this new development, prompting him to ask the obvious question.

"How di-"

"Shut Up!"

"Shut Up!"

Was the shared reaction of Naruto and Anko. Clearly he still hadn't gotten the message yet.

Once more Orochimaru was stirred into a rage and found himself charging headfirst toward Naruto. Well, I suppose technically it was sword first but the end result was the same either way, he over extended his thrust due to the rage induced state, and soon found himself barely being able to dodge well over a dozen bamboo sprigs, _far _too many of which were aimed at his genitals for it to just be a coincidence.

'Seriously. Get someone pissed off enough and they start making mistakes that would embarrass academy students' mused Naruto as he dodged yet another swing

'But that sword is starting to really piss me off.' he continued

**"Wood release: Dragon mask shield"**(1)

The snake sannin stared on in shock as his latest attempt to stab the annoying blond was stopped by his sword becoming wedged between the two separate halves of the dragon mask. It seemed Naruto wasn't worried about 'pedos'R'us finding out about his wood release

'Well not quite what this technique was meant for but I'd say it worked pretty damn well.' Naruto nodded to himself

As he watched the Snake sannin try in vain to pull the sword from the stone...err...wood, he briefly considered yelling that he was not worthy of becoming Hokage. But it just didn't seem worth it, given the minuscule chance of the snake bastard actually getting the reference plus there was the whole not talking to him thing to consider.

Snapping out of his internal debate over which would provoke the snake sannin best, he came to the decision that he probably shouldn't be so concerned about it at the moment, what with the lives of him and the rest of his team hanging in the balance and all. Well, that and the fact that Orochimaru seemed to have abandon his Arthur cosplay as useless folly and went for the much more straight forward choice of 'creepy pedo tries to violate a twelve year old '. He didn't even need a costume for that one.

Said attempts at violating a twelve year old got decidedly more aggressive once Naruto snatched up _his _sword from its makeshift sheathe, as he sailed past it after his latest dodge, coming out of his spin with an upwards vertical slash which would have bisected the snake sannin, Had the blonde known how the increase the swords length.

Approximately 0.023158 seconds after coming out of his spin and touching down on the ground a thought occurred, or rather a sequence of thoughts.

He was fighting Orochimaru.

The Snake Sannin.

One of the strongest ninja ever produced by the leaf.

With no back up.

What the actual fuck did he think he was doing?

Thinking quickly he leaped into the air and tossed a handful of smoke bombs before forming several dozen shadow clones as an added distraction for a moment he thought that would be sufficient. Just a moment. Incidentally that was also how long it took the snake sannin to deal with the clones and close a large portion of the distance between them, while he tossed a few of his markers out towards where his teammates lay a little over a hundred metres away.

As the snake sannin approached time seemed to slow and provide the blonde with a sense of hyper clarity beyond even what the sharingan allowed. internally he debated his options, he was approaching far too fast to simply dodge and the Hiraishin was out of the question for what he had planned, unless he wanted to give away his greatest trump card that left only one other option. It was idiotic. It was insane. It was perfect.

the plan was quite simple really, he would just cast trickster fox and make him think he was trying to dodge upward whereas in reality he was really dodging downwards and maybe, possibly slap a ream of exploding tags onto his genitals as he flew past. Not a word was said as he locked eyes with his target. Wouldn't want to spoil the surprise now would we?

In the moment Naruto cast the genjutsu something odd happened. No, odd wasn't quite the word for it. Fucking strange seemed to fit the bill more suitably. Yup, what happened was fucking strange, no two ways about it.

Instead of the seamless transition into the fantasy world of his imagination what he witnessed was a shimmer traveling through the surrounding landscape, what's more he soon noticed a large shadow floating above him.

'Black trench coat? Check. Blond hair? Check. Gl- who the hell else is it gonna be? Why is there a second me, or more specifically why can I see it? My image should just be in the pedos hea- I'm gonna stop right there... and possibly take a hot bath once I get home. I feel dirty.' Evidently said pedo was confused as well, seeing as he landed a good distance away simply to observe, for the moment appearing to remember how badly it had went the last few times he had rushed in.

It was strange. Despite his mounting confusion, he felt strong, in control' like if he just reached out, with a simple clench of the fist he could crush the opponent standing before him. Unbeknownst, unbidden he raised his hand. And did just that.

Coming out of the daze that threatened to steal away his senses he looked around. Strange, where were the trees? Wasn't he in a Forrest moments before? Where was this place, filled with these strangely shaped bushes rising up to just below his waist?

The blonde was completely snapped out of the remaining dregs of his delirium with a strange ticklish sensation in the palm of his hand. Looking down his eyes found themselves focused on what appeared to be a miniature Orochimaru puppet... with some really advanced animations, it looked like the little, very disturbing doll was really moving. Oh, he stopped now and seemed to be doing a very effective impersonation of a deer in the head lights. Strange, who would make a toy that could experience fear, and was it whimpering?

Bringing the hand up to his eye to examine this strange toy closer he noticed a few key things

1\. His hand got much damper in a very short space of time.

2\. It was not a toy.

3\. Those were not strangely shaped bushes, they were trees.

Staring down at the pint-sized sannin three simple words came to mind finally breaking his long term silence as the came to his lips unbidden.

"You dun goofed".** (2)**

Immediately following those words he had tightened his grip... slowly. Taking a great deal of satisfaction in the sounds of several dozen bones being reduced to dust and to a lesser extent the screaming of a man in pure unadulterated pain, but nothing would match the satisfaction felt when pressure within the sannins body began to build up until-

Pop.

Needless to say, his head went pop.

The only thing to Dull his enjoyment of this new development was the quiet voice in the back of his mind warning him that the real Orochimaru was still alive focusing on that thought he watched as Orochimaru reappeared on the Forrest floor below, as an after thought he shrunk back down to his regular size as a clone materialized at his side. Not two seconds after the snake sannin had reformed and recovered his senses he caught sight of one of the blondes shooting him a two fingered salute before fading out of existence, looking over at the second he stared in shock as it gradually shifted into a miniature nine-tailed fox.

Miniature being a relative term.

Orochimaru quickly found himself in a mad dash to escape the jaws, claws and occasional tail from the house sized creature pursuing him with a vengeance. That day, while he may never have consciously realized it, Orochimaru developed a pathological fear of foxes. Particularly those of the multi-tailed, nation destroying variety.

* * *

If one had witnessed the almost casual ease with which Naruto dealt with the snake sannin inside the illusion, they would likely perform a double take (or several) as he frantically used the Hiraishin to flash beside and toss her over his shoulder before teleporting the few hundred metres towards his two remaining teammates... and quickly remember why he never did sequential jumps with the Hiraishin as he tried to overcome the sudden wave of dizziness he reached out to grab hold of both his teammates... and soon realized he was floating in the air, upside down.

Cue face plant as per the laws of gravity.

Springing back up to his feet in a flash, he reached out to both figures lying prone on the ground, disappearing in a flash of yellow light the moment he made contact.

* * *

**Naruto and Anko's Apartment**

Cue several minutes of feeling like he had popped into existence at the centre of a tornado, seeing as that was the only explanation for why it felt like the world was spinning faster than a toy dreidel. Even as the world seemed to right itself it took him several moments to realize where, or more specifically on whom his head was resting. Just how long had she been awake? And when did she start stroking his hair? Turning his head in her direction (with no small amount of gratitude that the world had stopped spinning) he came face to...under boob with Anko. He probably should have expected that. Shifting his head slightly to look over his companions glorious chest, and it was glorious. Really, how could something be so soft and yet firm at the same time? And the way it jiggled during training... Anyway, back to topic, there's always time to appreciate the glory that was Anko's boobs later.

"Soooo, that happened." Anko drawled.

"Yup, looks like." responded Naruto, taking a few moments to realize she was in fact _not _aware of his recent train of thought about her wonderful breasts, then a few more to realize she was referring to the whole thing with Orochimaru.

Barely as an afterthought, he dropped the genjutsu over his eyes, completely missing the look of surprise on Anko's face as he went into full swing "I mean, I never thought we'd need to deal with the bastard so soon."

"Naruto"

"Let alone his puppets, turns out one of them was an Uzumaki by the way."

"Naruto!"

"And why was the Flying Thunder God seal I placed on you not working anyway?"

"NARUTO!" that got his attention.

"What?" he asked, the confusion clearly evident on his face.

"Your eyes..." she trailed off unsure of how to explain.

"What about my eyes? It's hardly the first time you've seen my sharingan.

Giving up on a verbal explanation, she grabbed his arm and marched him into the bathroom manually turning him to face the mirror she waited.

And waited.

And waited...

"Huh. Well shit." he eloquently summed up his surprise.

Sharingan eyes. M_angekyo _sharingan eyes. _His _Mangekyo sharingan eyes.

* * *

**Omake - The many S - Rank secrets surrounding Narutos' Training**

"Yo, Jiji." yelled Naruto, age 6 as he barged into the Hokage's office to hand in his bi-monthly training progress report.

Strolling up, he casually placed it on the aged Hokages desk and wondered for the hundredth time why the old man didn't just use shadow clones to do the paper work, but figured, just like every other time this thought occurred to him, there must be some reason he hadn't thought of yet as to why that was a bad idea and so didn't mention it.

As he read over the report, he felt his jaw drop "Third stage of the sharingan reached already?"

"Yup" he chirped in response

Sighing, the old man took out his S- ranked seal, really, he didn't see the point in adding the seal to each page, seeing as the whole file was marked S- class as of the first day of training. But the village seemed to thrive on pointless bureaucracy.

* * *

"Wind, Water, fire and earth nature manipulation training finished? In two months?" he asked dubiously staring down at one Naruto Uzumaki

"Yup" he chirped in response, as was becoming his custom

"How?" was all the aged Hokage said, still staring at the page in shock, He knew the boy used shadow clones but still, that destroyed any pre-existing records for elemental affinities training

"Well, I started the first stage for all elements the month before month, the second stage is just that taken to the extreme, so the training with other elements helped me progress faster in each one"

Wordlessly the third reached for the S- class seal

* * *

"Destroyed half the forest of death training to use the Bijudama? And then remade it with the wood release?"

"Yup"

Wordlessly, the old man reached for the S- class seal, stepped out from behind the desk and crouched down in front of the blond Uzumaki

"Ouch! What was that for?" he yelled as he rubbed the spot on his forehead where the third had stamped him with the S- class seal.

"To save time." he responded simply, as he sat back down at his desk to finish his paper work.

* * *

Well, that's, the severely late update my only excuse is exams suck and it's tough to restart after spending so long away. Incidentally let me know what you think of this chapter in comparison to the earlier chapters by reviews please.

Apologies to all those who will no doubt find this way too short, but I figured this was a good spot to leave it. Plus I really didn't want to wait any longer to post it.

(1) Japanese name is Hobi no jutsu for those who care and no I didn't translate it to English, mostly cuz I really hate the way most wood release techniques names have no direct relation to what the technique actually does and that pisses me off to no end.

(2) Fun fact, I have never once seen the original video that this phrase was used in. first time I had ever heard it was Hellsing ultimate abridged, a series I recommend you watch if you haven't already. It. Is. Awesome. In fact, now that I think about it, pretty much all the stuff Team Four star creates is just awesome.


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